First ergo ride since September.
I did 30 minutes this morning. It took quite a while to get warmed up, but it actually felt good once I got going.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
I Suppose It's About That Time
First ergo ride since September.
I did 30 minutes this morning. It took quite a while to get warmed up, but it actually felt good once I got going.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Spew: Ice Fishing Edition
I'm convinced that fish do not actually exist under the ice.
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Bodocious P has the most bizarre snoring sounds I've ever heard. I think he was whistling dixie at one point.
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Installing a porta-potti in a small box with no ventialation only seems like a good idea.
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The bar next to the lake is not filled with crazy party people. It is filled with middle-aged dudes fishing for info on the next hot spot. See what I did there? Fishing for the next hot spot?!?!? They don't teach that in school, kids.
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When a member of your fishing group has a broken hand, he will inconvenience everyone.
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Eggs should not be left outsize on the ice to "stay cool".
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There is no good way to cook frozen eggs.
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We found Vasaline (or some sort of lube) smeared all over Bodacious P's bunk when we arrived. Gross. Oddly, no one wanted to switch with him.
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Mr. Freezies will not freeze outside, no matter how cold it gets.
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Ham steak, and only ham steak, does not a complete breakfast make.
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A single bottle of Puerto Rican Rum is not sufficient for an entire weekend. Barely an entire night.
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One 9-inch walley is not enough meat to feed 4 people.
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Eating smelt is wierd as shit, but kind of fun. The fins have a strange texture.
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No matter where you bring cashews, they will be gone before you get any.
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If a rattle-reel goes off in the middle of the night, not one person will move to get it.
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No one wants to play Sequence on an ice fishing trip. Don't bother bringing it.
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No matter how many times I watch it, Superbad is always funny.
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Bodocious P has the most bizarre snoring sounds I've ever heard. I think he was whistling dixie at one point.
---
Installing a porta-potti in a small box with no ventialation only seems like a good idea.
---
The bar next to the lake is not filled with crazy party people. It is filled with middle-aged dudes fishing for info on the next hot spot. See what I did there? Fishing for the next hot spot?!?!? They don't teach that in school, kids.
---
When a member of your fishing group has a broken hand, he will inconvenience everyone.
---
Eggs should not be left outsize on the ice to "stay cool".
---
There is no good way to cook frozen eggs.
---
We found Vasaline (or some sort of lube) smeared all over Bodacious P's bunk when we arrived. Gross. Oddly, no one wanted to switch with him.
---
Mr. Freezies will not freeze outside, no matter how cold it gets.
---
Ham steak, and only ham steak, does not a complete breakfast make.
---
A single bottle of Puerto Rican Rum is not sufficient for an entire weekend. Barely an entire night.
---
One 9-inch walley is not enough meat to feed 4 people.
---
Eating smelt is wierd as shit, but kind of fun. The fins have a strange texture.
---
No matter where you bring cashews, they will be gone before you get any.
---
If a rattle-reel goes off in the middle of the night, not one person will move to get it.
---
No one wants to play Sequence on an ice fishing trip. Don't bother bringing it.
---
No matter how many times I watch it, Superbad is always funny.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Fishing Update. Er, Downdate. Is that a word?
We caught two fish yesterday. In addition to the world's smallest perch, Kyle caught a dogfish.
Great success!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Ice Fishing
Driving 4 miles on the ice always makes me a bit nervous, but now that we're at our house I'm feeling a bit better, except when I can hear the ice crack.
From the holes, we can see all the way to the bottom. Over 20 feet down! Pretty cool. I sure hope I don't drop my phone!
This is my new home.
From the holes, we can see all the way to the bottom. Over 20 feet down! Pretty cool. I sure hope I don't drop my phone!
This is my new home.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Death By Caffeine
In an ongoing attempt to try to kill us all, my employer has provided free coffee to all employees. They know I can't pass up free coffee!
And I just know I'll die from it. Look:
I've already had almost 120 cups of coffee today, so maybe through my on-the-job death I'll be able to help us make budget for next quarter. It's the little things...
In other news, I'm happy as shit today. I can't figure out why, I'm just in a really good mood. I'm trying to be all hateful and pissy, but it's not working. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.
And I just know I'll die from it. Look:
I've already had almost 120 cups of coffee today, so maybe through my on-the-job death I'll be able to help us make budget for next quarter. It's the little things...
In other news, I'm happy as shit today. I can't figure out why, I'm just in a really good mood. I'm trying to be all hateful and pissy, but it's not working. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.
Going Away Party. Also, Ass-Sniffing.
Just when I think I've run out of things to blog about, life jumps in and throws a dim-witted bachelorette party my way.
We were having a going-away party at a local bar for one of my co-workers. Here he is enjoying himself prior to puking on the table and getting kicked out. Good times.
Later in the evening, I saw a girl walk up to a guy in our group and whisper something in his ear. He shrugged, then lifted himself from his chair while the girl proceeded to sniff his ass. WTF? I managed to convince her to do it 3 MORE TIMES so I could get a good picture with my phone.
Then I got her to do it once more, just because I thought it was funny ("Hey, you didn't even take a picture that time!" Oh, shoot, I forgot. One more time!).
Out of curiosity, I asked WTF was going on. "She's getting married" was the response, stated as though that would totally explain everything.
To this girl's future husband: Kudos. You found yourself a smarty.
We were having a going-away party at a local bar for one of my co-workers. Here he is enjoying himself prior to puking on the table and getting kicked out. Good times.
Later in the evening, I saw a girl walk up to a guy in our group and whisper something in his ear. He shrugged, then lifted himself from his chair while the girl proceeded to sniff his ass. WTF? I managed to convince her to do it 3 MORE TIMES so I could get a good picture with my phone.
Then I got her to do it once more, just because I thought it was funny ("Hey, you didn't even take a picture that time!" Oh, shoot, I forgot. One more time!).
Out of curiosity, I asked WTF was going on. "She's getting married" was the response, stated as though that would totally explain everything.
To this girl's future husband: Kudos. You found yourself a smarty.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Death By Cracker
I just knew something exciting was going to happen today. It seems that, in lieu layoffs, my employer has resorted to reducing head-count by poisoning us.
I went to the break room to grab a Blow-Pop (love those things), and noticed a box full of peanut butter crackers. I thunk to myself, "Huh, those look familiar. Where have I seen those before?"
Then I remembered. I'd seen them on TV. BECAUSE THEY WERE FUCKING RECALLED!
It seems there have already been two deaths in Minnesota. Awesome. I hope they at least got a good deal on them. Gotta watch the bottom line, you know.
I went to the break room to grab a Blow-Pop (love those things), and noticed a box full of peanut butter crackers. I thunk to myself, "Huh, those look familiar. Where have I seen those before?"
Then I remembered. I'd seen them on TV. BECAUSE THEY WERE FUCKING RECALLED!
It seems there have already been two deaths in Minnesota. Awesome. I hope they at least got a good deal on them. Gotta watch the bottom line, you know.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Me 2 Years Ago VS. Me Now
On my way to work this morning, I was digging through my CD's and came across one simply titled '1/27/07'. I assume that's the date I burned it on. I listened to it for a bit, and found that my musical tastes haven't changed very much. I decided to look back 2 years in my blogging life and see what's changed. Turns out, quite a bit.
2 Year Ago: This blog was getting roughly 10 unique hits per day.
Now: I get over 200 hits per day on a regular basis.
2 Years Ago: I spewed for the first time
Now: I've essentially spewed everything I have to spew.
2 Years Ago: Kid #2 shit in the bathtub
Now: Kid #2 is completely potty trained.
2 Years Ago: I was getting ready to visit ADT for the first time
Now: I've been to Nationals at ADT twice.
2 Years Ago: I started the Song of the Day
Now: I'm still listening to the same shit because nothing decent has come out in 2 fucking years.
2 Years Ago: I was riding outside.
Now: Are you kidding me? Do you know how cold it is out there?
2 Years Ago: I decided to hire a coach, because I had now clue what I was doing.
Now: Well, some things never change.
2 Years Ago: My first-ever skinsuit displayed my balls prominently
Now: My current skinsuit displays my ass crack prominently.
2 Years Ago: I shaved my legs for the first time.
Now: I only shave prior to big events. I tend to get lazy on the manscaping.
2 Years Ago: I reached my goal of 200 pounds.
Now: Holdin' steady at 205-ish.
2 Years Ago: I wrote my 100th post.
Now: I've posted over 1,000 times.
2 Years Ago: I broke the ergometer at SCSU during a Wingate test.
Now: Still breakin' shit.
2 Year Ago: This blog was getting roughly 10 unique hits per day.
Now: I get over 200 hits per day on a regular basis.
2 Years Ago: I spewed for the first time
Now: I've essentially spewed everything I have to spew.
2 Years Ago: Kid #2 shit in the bathtub
Now: Kid #2 is completely potty trained.
2 Years Ago: I was getting ready to visit ADT for the first time
Now: I've been to Nationals at ADT twice.
2 Years Ago: I started the Song of the Day
Now: I'm still listening to the same shit because nothing decent has come out in 2 fucking years.
2 Years Ago: I was riding outside.
Now: Are you kidding me? Do you know how cold it is out there?
2 Years Ago: I decided to hire a coach, because I had now clue what I was doing.
Now: Well, some things never change.
2 Years Ago: My first-ever skinsuit displayed my balls prominently
Now: My current skinsuit displays my ass crack prominently.
2 Years Ago: I shaved my legs for the first time.
Now: I only shave prior to big events. I tend to get lazy on the manscaping.
2 Years Ago: I reached my goal of 200 pounds.
Now: Holdin' steady at 205-ish.
2 Years Ago: I wrote my 100th post.
Now: I've posted over 1,000 times.
2 Years Ago: I broke the ergometer at SCSU during a Wingate test.
Now: Still breakin' shit.
So Long, Old Friend
I was cleaning out my closet yesterday and decided it may be time to get rid of my Everyone Sucks Beer Helmet. It's awesome because it's true.
I just hope I can find a good home for it. We've had some good times.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Spew
What ever happened to Limp Bizkit?
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I use at least 3 Q-Tips a day.
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Why am I supposed to take as much ibuprophin as a 12-year-old. I am twice the size of most 12-year olds. Shouldn't I take more?
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Sarah Palin sure fell off the radar fast. I had completely forgotten about her until her recent announcement that she's going to be writing a book. I think you're a bit late on that one, cupcake, no one cares anymore.
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Similarly, I have not heard anyone referred to as a Maverick for several months. It's been awesome.
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Someone recently stole my credit card number. If I find that person, I will destroy them. Mostly I'm just pissed because it is uber-annoying to have to go through a whole week without any form of electronic payment.
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I found Mario Kart yesterday. Target RULES! Also, I'm glad real-life cars are easier to drive than Mario Karts.
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It is unacceptable for a grown man to use a bag on wheels to transport his laptop. UNACCEPTABLE!
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Sprite Zero is awful. Why does it exist?
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I hate feet. I think they're gross and disgusting. I can't even remove my own socks without washing my hands afterwards.
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I get almost all my news from The Soup. One of the best shows on TV.
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Speaking of great shows, Rock of Love III has been phenomenal. I can't believe Bret sent Marcia home last night! Or than Beverly is still there! Or that Brittany lasted as long as she did! OMG! I could go on. JT, you know where I'm comin' from.
---
I eat my meals one item at a time. I must finish that item before moving on. I don't know why, I just do.
---
I use at least 3 Q-Tips a day.
---
Why am I supposed to take as much ibuprophin as a 12-year-old. I am twice the size of most 12-year olds. Shouldn't I take more?
---
Sarah Palin sure fell off the radar fast. I had completely forgotten about her until her recent announcement that she's going to be writing a book. I think you're a bit late on that one, cupcake, no one cares anymore.
---
Similarly, I have not heard anyone referred to as a Maverick for several months. It's been awesome.
---
Someone recently stole my credit card number. If I find that person, I will destroy them. Mostly I'm just pissed because it is uber-annoying to have to go through a whole week without any form of electronic payment.
---
I found Mario Kart yesterday. Target RULES! Also, I'm glad real-life cars are easier to drive than Mario Karts.
---
It is unacceptable for a grown man to use a bag on wheels to transport his laptop. UNACCEPTABLE!
---
Sprite Zero is awful. Why does it exist?
---
I hate feet. I think they're gross and disgusting. I can't even remove my own socks without washing my hands afterwards.
---
I get almost all my news from The Soup. One of the best shows on TV.
---
Speaking of great shows, Rock of Love III has been phenomenal. I can't believe Bret sent Marcia home last night! Or than Beverly is still there! Or that Brittany lasted as long as she did! OMG! I could go on. JT, you know where I'm comin' from.
---
I eat my meals one item at a time. I must finish that item before moving on. I don't know why, I just do.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
I've Been Fueled By Octane
I've been essentially worthless lately, and working out has been helping me find my awesome. I need my awesome.
My "stop being a piece of shit" diet and workout program starts tomorrow. Gotta be less fat for my upcoming vaca! w00t!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Stupid Karma
Fuck.
Stop E-Mailing Me, I'll Post Something When I Feel Like It
I gots riterz bloque or sum shitz. Da bunnie wit da pankake on hiz noggin iz fresh az fukk tho. Ya dig?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Fucking Winter
I'm sick of winter. The kids are going nuts, the dog is going nuts, and pretty much everyone I talk to and everything I do annoys me. I can't get motivated to do anything, and that pisses me off, too. Fuckity fuck fuck.
Must be the time of year. I need a vacation. Or medication. Either way...
I've been trying to book a vacation for late February, but guess what? Due to the economy, tourism is down, so travel agencies have inexplicably RAISED THEIR PRICES! You know what? That pisses me off. It's stupid. And I want to go someplace warm RIGHT NOW and I'm going to pout until I get my way.
Circuit City is closing. That blows, because one of my best friends is a manager there, and now he's out of a job. Even so, I figured I could find some cheap shit there. FAIL. It was insanely busy, as the vultures were out in full force. I felt like I was at WalMart...dirty people everywhere. The kicker is that this so-called "Liquidation Sale" sucked donkey balls. 10% off the entire store. That's it. Are you kidding me? I just got a fucking 20% off coupon on the mail the other day. But "Ha Ha", the joke's on me! No coupons are accepted. Fucking asshat liquidators. Fuck.
I spent almost an entire evening trying to find Mario Kart for my (I mean Max's) Wii. Every place in town is out of stock. Mario Kart. Out of stock. Who would have thought you'd ever hear those two phrases together?
I can't think of anything else to bitch about, so that's what you get.
Must be the time of year. I need a vacation. Or medication. Either way...
I've been trying to book a vacation for late February, but guess what? Due to the economy, tourism is down, so travel agencies have inexplicably RAISED THEIR PRICES! You know what? That pisses me off. It's stupid. And I want to go someplace warm RIGHT NOW and I'm going to pout until I get my way.
Circuit City is closing. That blows, because one of my best friends is a manager there, and now he's out of a job. Even so, I figured I could find some cheap shit there. FAIL. It was insanely busy, as the vultures were out in full force. I felt like I was at WalMart...dirty people everywhere. The kicker is that this so-called "Liquidation Sale" sucked donkey balls. 10% off the entire store. That's it. Are you kidding me? I just got a fucking 20% off coupon on the mail the other day. But "Ha Ha", the joke's on me! No coupons are accepted. Fucking asshat liquidators. Fuck.
I spent almost an entire evening trying to find Mario Kart for my (I mean Max's) Wii. Every place in town is out of stock. Mario Kart. Out of stock. Who would have thought you'd ever hear those two phrases together?
I can't think of anything else to bitch about, so that's what you get.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Stupid Celebrities
Pump up your fucking tires!
I'm obviously using the word "celebrity" very loosely here.
I'm obviously using the word "celebrity" very loosely here.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Don't Take My Picture, Asshole. Just Pull Me Out!
My wife drove into a drift on the side of the road and got stuck. Then flipped me off when I was taking her picture. Maybe I am an asshole! At least I got to try out my new tow-rope.
Here's a bonus photo contributed by The Richter, who asks "How to people end up off the road on the inside of curves?" One of the great questions of our time...
I have a new reason to love Winter!
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