Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Blogging Hiatus

After nearly 1500 posts, I'm taking some time off. It may be a day. It may be a week. It may be forever. I don't know.

What I do know is that I'm just not into it anymore. I don't want this to be a "here's what I did last week" dump of recent events. No one gives a shit. I want to express my thoughts and feelings in a creative and entertaining way. I want to write about the funny and the ridiculous events in life. I'm simply not able to do that right now.

I want to tell you about how I failed miserably at trying to do my own taxes. I want to tell you about how I now have tubes in both of my tubeless wheels. I want to post a fashion show of my new clothes (shut up, you know you want to see it). I want to post about the giant stack of stripper and call-girl advertisements I collected. I want to post about how I gave myself a new nickname ("The Predicament"), but those cocksuckers at Saturday Night Live got to it before I did so I changed it to "The Quandry". I want to tell you about the time I was at a rave that got busted. I want to tell you about the time I burned off my eyebrows and half the hair on my head. I want to tell you about the time I got headbutted by some asshole named Ferrel. I want to tell you about the time I knocked myself out while shitting. About how much I enjoyed seeing Charles Barkley rapping. About how much I hate Justin Timberlake for forever ruining the Super Bowl halftime show. About the time Brain stole my clothes. About the time I melted fireworks to the roof of the house.

Even when I'm posting about my life, it seems that I for some reason skip the funny parts that I used to get so much enjoyment out of. It's become a chore to even upload photos.

I used to be entertaining (arguably). I don't feel that way anymore.

Maybe I've changed. Maybe my world has changed. I don't know. When I first started blogging I was at a job that didn't actually require to me work very hard, so I had extra time to think. I don't have that luxury anymore. I'm swamped at work and my kids keep me running around constantly. I'm not making excuses, I'm just sayin'.

Maybe this thing has just run it's course.

This is like the 3rd time I've quite blogging, and I've always come back before. Who knows. Keep me in your RSS readers.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Happy Birthday To Franz!

He's now officially in the 45-50 age group.

That is all.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


I took part of the day off on Friday so we could take the kids to the Mall of America and play at Nickelodeon Universe. I was also in desparate need of some new shoes!

They went on some rides, which looked like fun.

Then Max decided he wanted to go on the Avatar Air Bender, and he freaked the fuck out, so we were done with rides for the day.
The thing was 70 feet high and way too intense. I was dizzy for like 2 hours afterwards.

Addi got to meet Spongebob

We then went to eat at Rainforest Cafe, which was delicious but expensive, and went to Underwater Adventure. We saw several sharks and singrays, one of which is kind of pictured here:
Oh, and I got some shoes
I'm pretty particular about the shoes I buy, mostly because I wear them for several years, but also because I have paddle-shaped feet. I used to buy Born brand shoes, but they changed their fit, so I bought some Merrell's, and they're super comfy.

I also saw one of my old high school classmates at Nordstrom's. He was out and proud. I always kinds figured.

New Laptop Fail

My new laptop already shit out on me. The monitor went berserk, so I have to wait another couple days for a new screen to show up. *Sigh*

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I Rule

I'm the first one in my office to get Windows 7. This will certainly go smoothly...

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

New School

They're building a school in my neighborhood. Aside from the fact that a residential area is kind of a retarded place to build a school, I'm not looking forward to the increased traffic.


Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Appreciating Bandit

This is Franz's dog, Bella.
We are dogsitting while Franz is away on what I can only assume is very important business. I love dogs and enjoy having them around, most of the time more than people, so it's fun to have her.

However, it has made me notice a few things about Bandit that I now appreciate more. Having a dog around who doesn't know you really highlights the rapport that dogs build with their owners.

For example, when I say "Let's go potty", Bandit runs to the door. Bella ran to her kennel to retrieve her chew toy. Then there was some doggy jealousy over said chew toy, but I digress.

Bandit can usually sense when I'm busy and leaves me alone. Today, Bella watched me shit. Twice.

Bandit is emotionally well-adjusted. Bella emptied her bladder on the floor when I bent down to give her a treat and startled her.

She's currently staring at me and whining. I have no clue what she wants.

Bandit retrieves things for me:Bella runs after it, sniffs it, and then comes back without it.

Bandit stays around when we let him outside, and Bella needs to be tied up.

Bandit can free-feed. Bella needs to be fed diet food twice daily, because she's too chubby.

Bandit barks when a stranger comes to our house. Bella barks at me when I get home from work.

Bandit sleeps under the covers. Bella insists on sharing my pillow with me.

It may sound like I'm hatin' on Bella, but I'm not. She actually has some wonderful qualities. She's quite calm, which is nice, and is an excellent snuggler. Plus, she doesn't shed and is docile enough that the kids can take her for a walk on the leash. And, ya know, there's that whale spout hair-do. I like her. Plus, she's surprisingly athletic.

So, in summary. Bella: super cute, kinda dumb, extra snuggly.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

BeeDay Partee

Last night I went out with my sister, her boyfriend, his family, and my mom for my Sis's birthday. We started out at Chino Latino. I ordered her a Chino Bomber, which resulted in her being fitted for this sweet headband.

And then she had to do some balancing shit with sake and a beer, scream "Banzai!!!" and then drink it.

As you can see, we had a lovely sushi spread and I am holding a girly drink. Life doesn't get much better than that.

Except when it does.

We then went across the street to Zeno for some after-dinner drinks and lava cake. Good shit. Plus, the itty bitty host guy told me I got major cool points. I didn't bother asking why. I just figured I deserved them.

Does this night sound familiar? That's because it's exactly what we did for my birthday. But, that doesn't make it any less original. OK, so maybe it does, but it was still super fun.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Because I Know Why You Really Come Here

Here is Franz doing a 6-second sprint on the ergo (OK, it's more like 4 seconds), then looking dejectedly at his max speed.

Time To Play Catch-Up

I'm been so slammed at work that I haven't had much time to think about blogging. It's not that I hate you, it's just that I don't like you all that much.

So, let's see. Last weekend I got Avatarded. It was a pretty good movie, but didn't live up to the hype. They never do. People must have lower standards than I do. I know one guy who has seen it 5 times. I heard that there are people out there who are in a deep, deep depression because Pandora does not actually exist. Life must be difficult when you're completely disconnected from reality.

We followed that up with a big day at the water park. We went with some friends who have kids about the same age as ours, so they entertained each other while I entertained the idea of blowing Max's video game money on $6 margaritas.

Afterwards, we went out to eat at a place called Fat Daddy's. I had an overcooked 1-pound burger and a 32-ouce New Castle. How the hell do you overcook such a huge hamburger patty?

Then I went to work for a week.

Last night when I got home from work, Addi decided she wanted to try riding her bike without training wheels.

She's such a little trooper! She would have stayed out there all night if it hadn't gotten dark.

We were back at it again this morning, and she's almost there. Another couple days and she'll be riding on her own.

We also watched Nacho Libre, about which Max declared, "Huh, that was unusual", which it totally was.

I've been managing to squeeze in my workouts, which is nice. My 24-year-old nephew just started lifting with me, and he had to cancel our workout today because he's so sore he can't more. That's just fantastic!

Spring is just around the corner. I can feel it. Most of the grass on my lawn is visible. I can't wait to get out of the fucking house.

Monday, March 01, 2010

The Kids Get In On The SkiBoarding Action

SkiBoarding - that's what I named my new sport (clever, right?) - is fun for the whole family. Here's Max:

And here he is post-crash:

Even Addi, who is only 4, can SkiBoard.

Someone patent this shit for me. I'll pay you back later. Promise.

PJ's Pube

Unfortunate design choice, fellas. Though, ironically, that's probably what was all over the urinal that this ad was displayed above.

Final Vacay Fotos

I don't feel like commenting on the photos, so figure it out. In no particular order: beach, drinks, trees.