Saturday, October 27, 2007

Peace Out

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

If you need me, I'll be living life, loving my kids, and riding my bike.

See you on the podium.

Song of the Day

"Dull Boy" by Mudvayne. I was mildly ammused by Hellyeah for, like, a day. I'm glad Chad Gray decided to go back to what he does best...kick ass.

I'm King of the World!

Kids love dirt piles.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Goodbye Gym

Goodbye scrawny trainers

Goodbye teenage social club

Goodbye guy who curls in the squat rack

Goodbye stinky guy

Goodbye grunty guy

Goodbye circuit training guy who monopolizes 5 pieces of equipment for 2 hours

Goodbye shit floating in the pool

Goodbye Napoleon complex guy

Goodbye naked locker room guy

Goodbye weird lifting-face guy

Goodbye newly-implemented "annual upgrade fee"

Goodbye cocky, bandana-wearing, ambiguously gay guy

Enjoy your gym experience, suckas!


Wouldn't you want a business like this to be a tad bit more discreet?

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Official Announcement

There's been a lot of speculation, so I'm hereby officially announcing that Franz and I will be joining the new Speedfix track team next year.

This was a difficult decision, since LSC has been awesome to ride for, but ultimately I was attracted to the chance to have my time and energy go toward helping and promoting the velodrome.

I've seen this referred to as an "Elite" team, but that's not the goal. The goal is to have a group of riders who are all dedicated to racing on the track and working for the betterment of track racing in MN. If we happen to win every race this year, that's just icing on the cake :-)

Yeah, you're cute. I get it...

Stop rubbing it in.

Hold me closer, Tony Danza

Stupid, stupid woman.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Where am I?

And what is Ned doing?

Song of the Day

Here's another one that was beaten into me out in L.A. "Empty Walls" by Serj Tankian. Serj is the lead singer of System of a Down, and has one of the worst singing voiced ever recorded. Yet, somehow, I love all his music.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Song of the Day

Today, I bring you "Misery Business" by Paramore. KROQ was playing this song like every 4 minutes when I was out in L.A. and it finally grew on me.

New Phrase of the Day

Upper-Decking. Eww.

Attention Trackstanders!

Why can't I trackstand? I've been trying for the last 2 months to figure it out, but I can't.

What's the secret? Do you need to have good balance in other aspects of life?

To CX or not to CX...


I think I may have run out of excuses.

I got an e-mail yesterday asking if I was going to do the 'cross race at the velodrome. Nope, I sold my 'cross bike. Ha! What's that you say? You have an extra 'cross bike? Oh. Um...I'll have to clear it with my wife. Shit, she said I can go.

Now what am I gonna do? I haven't been on a bike since Nationals, and I'm in no shape to race, but I might do it anyway. Super-Rookie needs someone to beat, right?

Saturday, October 20, 2007

1:15 AM

Why won't you sleep?

Teething sucks.

Friday, October 19, 2007

More Corporate BS

In my employer's never-ending quest to bring communism to my everyday life, we learned today that many of the higher-paid employees will be subsidizing the health care costs of the lower-paid employees. Fuck. That. Why should I have to pay more (and therefor earn less) because some guy on the loading dock decided not to go to college and learn a marketable skill?

I must not be cut out for life in the corporate world, because shit like this pisses me off too much. Should we also do income checks so we can adjust the prices of cars, groceries, and gas? Maybe we can all start bringing our W2's to restaurants so they know how much to charge us.

Honestly, it's not the money that bothers me. It's the principal of the thing. I've tried looking at it from every imaginable angle, and I cannot fathom an explanation that makes me think this is a good idea.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

House Photos

Now that we're moved in and have some of our shit put away, I figure I should post some pictures of the final product. Let's go on a tour, shall we?

This is our entryway/laundry room.

This is the kitchen. It's where people will cook for me, and where I'll mix delicious Gin and Tonics.

Ah, the living room. This is where I watch Nip/Tuck (on DVD, since I have no cable).

The office where I will eventually have a desk. Great success!

Dining Room. I eat here. Obviously.

Master bathroom. Whirlpool tub. 'Nuff said.

Kids' bathroom. They pee on the floor.

Now, down to the basement, where I can play fooseball while drinking Blue Moon.

This is the gym where I can work on becoming even better looking than I already am (a daunting task indeed)

The kids are sleeping, so I can't get photos of their rooms, but one is blue and one is purple.

Now that you've seen my house, you probably don't need to come to the housewarming party, but you're invited anyway. If you don't get your invitation, it's because it got lost in the mail.

Ready For Action

I can't believe I almost forgot to post this picture.

Look What I Made!

Ladies and gentlemen, you are witnessing the world's tallest workbench!

Yeah, so I gotta cut about 6 inches off the bottom. Other than that it was a successful project.

Dealing With The Devil

I absolutely loath Charter. Their service sucks, they're expensive, they do a sloppy install job, and they randomly shut off your services, even if your account is up-to-date. Unfortunately, they've got a monopoly on cable service in St. Cloud, so they can do pretty much whatever they want.

What could possibly be worse than that, you ask? Having a dish on top of your house that prevents you from watching TV when it rains.

So I'm stuck.

UPDATE: I just got a call that the technician couldn't find our house, so they wanted to reschedule the install for 2 WEEKS OUT. I told them to fuck off. Who needs TV, anyway?

UPDATE: I've decided to do a standard antenna. At least it'll be free.

Giddy Up!

My father-in-law is currently riding his horse across South Dakota to Montana. There's a newspaper article here. Livin' the dream...

Song of the Day

Since I'm running out of material in this here offseason, I'm restarting the Song of the Day. Deal with it.

Today's SOTD is "Time Is Running Out" by Papa Roach. This is my favorite song of the moment. Click the link to their site to hear the song. Killer.

The first time I saw Papa Roach was at X-Fest in 2001 (?). They were on the second stage, so I was able to get really close to them and the show was phenomenal! Probably the 4th-coolest live show I've seen.

The Beginning of the End

I started my offseason yesterday. It hurt.

My body is not used to doing squats, and it showed. I woke up at 3:15 AM with a wicked cramp in my hamstring.

It's ridiculous how fast I'm going to be next year.

Monday, October 15, 2007


There's a new track team in town. Hot Damn!


I hurt. Everywhere. Even my heels hurt.

I spent the last 3 days carrying heavy things from a trailer to my house (Which no one has peed on yet. Skibby, you can be the first).

We've finally got about 90% of our shit set up and put away, which is a good feeling. We sat in the hot tub last night, and we've set off the burglar alarm twice.

This is gonna take some getting used to.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

I'm Handy

I installed this custom closet in our new house last night, and I didn't even fuck it up!

I'm mildly concerned about catastrophic failure when we actually put something on the shelves, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

My New Best Friend

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

There's always one...

Every meeting I go to, there's that one guy who just refuses to shut the fuck up. Stupid questions compounded by confusion and apparent retardation make these meeting drag on forever. Then, this asshat has the audacity to complain the he's going to be late for his next meeting.

Gawd, I hate that guy!

T Minus 2 Days...

We close on our new house in two days. It's hard to believe that only a few months ago, it looked like this.

Now begins the enviable task of cleaning and moving in. Who wants to help? Anyone? Anyone? Assholes.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Track Kids

I counted no less than 4 second-generation bike racers at Nationals. Children of National/World/Olympic Champions. That's crazy. I can't imagine the pressure those kids must feel to live up to the expectations and accomplishments of their parents.

There were a lot of young racers (17-21) in attendance, which meant there were a lot of parents who, presumably, are supporting these young riders.

What was interesting to me was the way the different parents handled themselves. Some weren't even at the venue, some stayed in the stands, some roamed the pit, and some coddled their young'ens to the point that even the spectators were expressing embarrassment.

I don't know what kind of parent I'd be if my son was an Elite-Level athlete. I hope I would fall into the realm of offering "just enough" support. Whatever the hell that means.

And I'm Spent.


What a great track season. I had a blast, but I'm ready to relax for a while now. The last few nights I've been drinking more Blue Moon than I should, completely guilt-free. It's fantabulous.

Part of me is glad to have some free time on my hands, but all I think about is what bike I'm going to ride next year, how my training will differ, what sprint tournaments I want to's a freakin' sickness is what it is. So for now, I'm going to hit the gym, and I'm not going to do deadlifts. It's gonna be awesome!

I lost my motivation to train about a month prior to Nationals, but I pushed through and made it all the way into mid-October. I'm thinking next year I'll need to modify my schedule a bit to make sure I'm still motivated at the end of the season. Any tips?


Saturday, October 06, 2007

Day 4 Wrap-up

We took 6th in the Team Sprint, just .2 seconds off a podium spot. We're a bit disappointed with our time, but we rode our best. It was a lot of fun and I think we rode really smoothly.

The MIB and The DGC both did well in the keirin heats, with both of them almost coming over the top in the reps to make it to the semi finals. Unfortunately, it was not to be.

Crosby's Madison partner got crashed out in the first lap of the race and was never able to rejoin. Booo!

I'm tired and I'm sick of blogging. Later.

Today is the Day

Today is our last chance to bring home some hardware. Franz, The DGC, and I are pumped for the Team Sprint. Crosby's got high hopes for the Madison, and The MIB will be pulling out his pads for the keirin.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Match Sprint Wrap-Up

Duvendeck just beat Massie in 2 rides to take 3rd.

Nelman won the 5-8 final, followed by Hill.

Ben B. just crashed at the start line.

Blatchford dominated the gold medal ride to win by around 3 bike lengths.

I'll try to post some videos later.

Friday Photos

I'm number 1!!! Wait...

He sure does!

Taking to the rail

The DGC ain't nothin' but a blur

The track

The pit

Several points race shots

Match sprint semi's start

Locked and Loaded

The LSC-GP Blaine Train has been registered for tomorrow's Team Sprint.

Points Race Heats

Neither Crosby nor The DGC were able to qualify for the points race finals. The heats were incredibly fast and they both put forth stellar efforts, but ultimately came up short. This is a different level of competition than we're used to in Blaine, and it's fun to see how incredibly fast the top guys in the nation are.

You Do The Math

4 days of racing. 2 skinsuits.

I had to hit the laundromat with the local illegals. I think they were concerned that I was a narc...they kept looking at me out of the corner of their eyes.

I didn't find any children or dogs in the dryer, which I thought was lucky. It must be pretty common if they put it on a warning label, right?

Sprint Videos

These are some videos from the 1/4 finals yesterday

Ryan Nelman vs. Giddeon Massie - Ride 1

Ryan Nelman vs. Giddeon Massie - Ride 2

Ryan Nelman vs. Giddeon Massie - Ride 3
Massie moves on to the semi finals!

Blatchford advances with a win over Cornell

Race Coverage

So here's what FGF reported for my race against Nelman:

Taylor Olson v. Ryan Nelman

Olson takes lead

Olson jumps with 1.2 laps to go

Ryan passes easily and eases up using just energy to take it

This isn't entirely correct. I purposely backed off a bit so Nelman WOULD ease up, which he did. Then I accelerated again and was almost able to take the win.

At least that was the view from my seat.

I Hate L.A.

I really do. It sucks to drive anywhere, the road system isn't intuitive, traffic is horrendous, and they have stupid restaurants like Del Taco and Jack in the Box. Lame. Every time I want to eat something I have to drive around in horrible traffic for like an hour before I find something that appeals to me. And I'm not even picky!

This photo is representative of everything I've seen in L.A. A Jack in the Box in the foreground, a 16-lane highway of stand-still traffic, and what appears to be a smog factory. This is the view from my hotel room.

Da Track

The track out here is really fun to ride. The geometry is very similar to Blaine (if not exactly the same). The surface is almost like a gym floor. Very smooth with some sort of laminate over it. They suggest not to use brand new tires on this surface, as that can cause it to be very slippery (just ask Ferris). Also, the big sponsor logos on the track seem like they're going to be very slick, but aren't.

I'm having zero traction issues with my Continental Sprinters.

This surface has it's benefits. There were a couple big crashes in the womens field, and the riders just slid after they hit the deck. No splinters, just a bit of floor burn. The two that I talked to afterwards didn't even have torn jerseys.

The whole track is elevated about 4 feet above the infield, and the warm-up area at the base of the track is about 8 feet wide. The only problem with this is that it's even more slippery than the track surface, so you have to be going really slowly before you come off the track, or you'll come into a corner too hot and wash out. I saw a couple people do that yesterday. It looked embarrassing.

One thing that the majority of people who ride out here don't want to admit is that this track isn't particularly fast. You can actually hear the track squeaking as you squish the boards down in the turns. I thought there was something wrong with my bike at first, but it was actually the track. "Squishy" does not equal "fast". Don't get my wrong, it's still a fast track, but I honestly think the surface of Blaine is faster.

The DGC touched on this topic, but it feels a lot more comfortable riding way up at the rail when you see a seating area instead of a 30 foot drop. It's a tad more confidence inspiring.

I don't have any races today, so I'll get some close-up photos of the facilities. Photos that aren't of me pissing on it.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Thursday Photo Dump

What a pimp. Seriously, all the women out here want Crosby.

A rarely seen photo of The MIB not sitting with his head in his hands.

The DGC prepares.

What a lazy piece of shit.

Where the hell is everyone? There are probably 30 people in the stands today. This is the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS and we can't even get as many people out to watch as a Thursday night race in Blaine. WTF?

This is Mindy. She got crashed out HARD in the keirin. She bounced about 2 feet into the air after the initial impact. Ouch.

This is Roger Young. From what I can tell, everyone around here thinks he's a huge asshat.

This is me racing Ryan Nelman

Here's where I jumped and got a gap

This is Nelman. He beat me (did I mention he's really fast?).

The DGC on the rail before the scratch heats

Scratch race heats. Insanely fast!

This is Mini-Phiney. He won the pursuit, and here he is remounting his rollers after falling off.

The Medics

Flying 200 results