Friday, May 30, 2008

All Kinds of Colorful

This showed up after the storm tonight.

These showed up yesterday via Franz's delivery service. Long live funky tires.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Hells Yes

If you weren't there last night, you missed out. We had 8 riders show up: me, Ted, Joe, Colton, Charlie A, Linsey, Elena, and Dano. Not a bad showing for such short notice. All received killer socks.

We started out with flying 200's. I drew the #1 spot, of course. I hit a new PR of 11.25, which I was really please with. My training is definitely going in the right direction. Yes, it was hand-timed, but Linsey is known world-wide for her timing skillz. I'll take it.

A couple participants did their first-ever flying 200's, and looked great. I don't recall exact times for the others, but I know all were pretty impressive.

We then went into some round-robin sprint matches. We decided to keep the men and women together, so we could all race against different people and gain different experiences. The highlight of the night was when Dano beat Ted.

The keirin was a blast as well. Miranda practiced her moto-drivin' skills (and did great, btw). Elena won the women's keirin in a photo finish, and I won the hard-fought men's keirin (in which I drew #1 again).

Joe walked away with the big prize of the night, a used track tote! Woo-Hoo!

For those who may be surprised by how positive this post is, I apologize. It was just so damn much fun!

Women's Keirin

Deep thoughts, with JJJ. Check out the helmet.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Training Sprints Tonight!

Track opens for warm-ups at 6:30

Flying 200's are at 7:00pm sharp. Round-Robin sprint tournament to follow. If we end up getting a lot of interest, we'll do 1 ride against everyone. If numbers are low, we'll do best of 3. Everyone gets to do multiple sprints rounds, regardless of qualifying time!

Keirin will follow.

Scoring will be as follows:
Top 3 in flying 200 get 3,2,1 points respectively
3 points per sprint win (series win, not individual races if doing best of 3)
top 4 in Keirin get 5,3,2,1 points respectively

FABULOUS PRIZES!!!! Men, women, juniors, everyone is invited! Every rider who shows up with receive a free pair of socks.

$10 gets you in. All proceeds go directly to the track.

Thursday's forecast calls for rain all damn day, so this may be your only chance to race this week. I'm not accepting any "but I'm not a sprinter" excuses. This is for FUN. BE THERE!

Weekly Spew

There are a lot of 50cc scooters putzing along on the side of the highways recently. That's a good way to get yourself killed.
My boss just told me I'm the "Man of the week". Unfortunately, the only reward is my continued employment.
Some people get WAY to worked up about things. I am one of those people.
I just fell on my ass when the door handle I grabbed detached from the door.
I think it's odd that my wife doesn't read this blog.
I'm pretty much the best zit squeezer in the world. I'm really good. Srsly.
I thought Two and-a-Half Men would be a horrible show, but it's actually pretty funny. And dirty. YESSSSSSS.
I despise wind. It's pretty much my least favorite atmospheric activity.
I need a new Blogger profile picture. Someone needs to take some Glamour Shots of me. I'm thinking of something billowy...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Freakin' Amazing

It takes a lot for a male dancer to impress me, mostly because it's just not something find, how you say, cool. However, this guy is f'ing incredible. Check it:

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Friday, May 23, 2008

Thursday Night Race Recap

[Note: pictures are at the bottom, so you may as well just skip over my long-winded assessment of the racing]

Damn, the first night of racing is always a blast. My only goal for this night was to have fun. Since I no longer have the pressure of trying to upgrade, I'm able to relax a bit and enjoy the racing more. The races I'll take seriously come later in the year.

The first race of the night for the 1/2 field was a Miss & Out, which unfortunately was highlighted by poor officiating. Right from the gun, Kruse drilled it on the front. I was hanging out near the back, picking people off on the elimination laps. On our 5th bell lap, I saw a rider sit up and pull out of the pack. Since the rules dictate that this rider would be the one eliminated, I just sat at the back and got a free ride. Imagine my surprise when my number was called for elimination! This is not a big deal for me, since I would have been lucky to crack the top 10 anyway. The really bad part is that this exact same scenario played out at the finish. The 4th-place rider dropped out and the officials decided, without informing the riders, that the race was being shortened. The 3 remaining riders rolled over the finish line, getting ready to duel it out on the final lap, only to hear the double-gun-shot signalling the end of the race. Why the hell they would do this in the first place is completely beyond me, but to do so WITHOUT INFORMING THE RIDERS is ridiculous.

Moving on.

The second race was 12-lap Tempo Race, which means the first and second riders over the line on every lap get 2 and 1 points respectively. My goal, as always, was to take the first couple laps and hang on for dear life. I took the first 4 points of the race, and instead of trying for one more lap, I swung up, recovered a bit, and got back in the pack. I was able to avoid getting lapped (and losing my points) relatively easily, and ended up getting 3rd in the race. w00t!

Now, everyone knows that 50-lap races ain't my thang, but we drove all the way from St. Cloud, and I wanted to get my money's worth, dammit! The plan was to work with Crosby to get him a lap on the field right from the gun. Well, that didn't happen, and I totally cooked myself (and Crosby). Luckily, he is a stud and was able to recover and contend all the sprint laps. I was not so fortunate. I sat up, let myself get lapped, hung on for another 10 laps or so, then pulled out when I realized I had nothing left to go for points.

The only low point of the evening was a crash in the Cat 3 field. Everyone seemed to be OK, but there was an uber-expensive disc wheel that got trashed. That may hurt worse than the splinters!

I got asked for my autograph. Ha!

Pre-race meeting

Frye showed up, but just to watch

Look what Santa brought me!

Ooooh...pretty. These have more "new shoe smell" than any new shoes I've ever smelled.

Ya gotta admit, he looks good in Zubaz.

Hot racing action

Elena is the best teammate in the world, and here's why:

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Cane Creek Everywhere!

Cane Creek is clearly the wheel of choice in Blaine for 2008.

This isn't even all of 'em!

Those Tiemeyer's look pretty sweet too, eh?

Full race report coming tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Deed Is Done

It's now OFFICIALLY race season.

1 Day

I can't wait.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Weekly Spew

My dog has Lyme Disease. Apparently it's not a very big deal for dogs, though.
I don't understand art.
My 5-year-old has decided he likes Johnny Cash. This is excellent news for me, because I no longer have to listen to "the Cars song" on repeat (that's "Life is a Highway", for you non-parents).
There are a lot of fat people in the world.
I'm beginning to dislike SRAM components.
Last weekend, I saw the ugliest kid and the fattest kid I've ever seen in my life...and they weren't the same kid. I blame the parents on both counts.
Most people in the lawn seeding business are not very personable.
I hate making small talk

Monday, May 19, 2008


My little sister graduated from college at UMD this weekend. I use the term 'graduated' rather loosely, since she still has 5 years of grad-school left. Regardless, we're proud of her! Her boyfriend graduated too. Now he has to get a job and support her. Sucka!

The ceremony itself was a total bore. Over 1500 students graduated. We had to leave early.

This kid was txting through the entire 3 hours we were there.

The student speaker was a huge loser, and kept saying things like "Use your diploma power. You've got it!" Ugh. Ann Bancroft was presented with an honorary doctorate. Because, ya know, dogsledding is totally doctorate-worthy.

The fam and I stayed at a waterpark hotel, which was way pimp. It's nice to go on vacation and actually have something for the kids to do.

Max beat me at air hockey, and I wasn't trying to let him win.

My sister's apartment building has a pool, but the landlord basically forbids anyone from using it. Especially kids. Stupid old people...

NO! Not an infraction!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

I Wish I Knew How To Quit You

I'm a fiend.

Go Skibby Go!

My favorite part about going to the track is the people. And seeing people ride motorcycles in spandex.

Friday, May 16, 2008

I Hurt Everwhere

Lots of riders showed up for Madison practice last night. I got there early and did a full sprint workout (OK, 2/3 of a sprint workout) prior to the class, because I was told it's "Not really a workout, just skills training." Bull. Shit.

I was really surprised at how much fun it was! I used to scoff at Madisons because it just seemed like there was a really high probability of crashing. After taking the class, everything makes a lot more sense now. If you crash in a Madison, it's because you or someone else fucked up...just like any other race.

I got teamed up with Crosby, which was fantastic because he's done like a finity of Madison throws and had lots of good advice for me. And guess what? I actually didn't suck! No, really! Brian told me so.

Then we played a nice game of "put the sprinter on the front of the paceline for 50 laps while Super-Rookie yells at him to go faster, then slower, then faster again." Always a good time.

I had one minor lapse in my attention span and got to take a short trip through the infield. I won't be doing that again.

By the end of the night, I had logged just over 2 hours of saddle time...a record for 2008. I'm not used to riding my bike that long. My whole body hurts.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Yer Gettin' More Smarter

Check it out! I'm in the majority now.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


21 seated starts, and my hands are ripped to shit. This is with full-finger BMX gloves.

Look out, suckas...I'm coming to Madison practice tomorrow!

Feliz Catorce De Mayo

Power Nuggets

4-pieces are on the dollar menu now. w00t!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Productive Weekend

I've spent the last 4 days landscaping. I got a shit-ton done, and I need a nap.

Here, you can see why we needed to bring in some rock. All our damn wood chips blew away!

Holy shit! They gave me a Bobcat!

I spent 10 hours working out in the rain on Saturday to making this hog. My kids better love me.

The finished product.

All that's left is to bring in pea rock and sand for the playground, and install a sprinkler, and spread black dirt, and seed the lawn, and plant some trees, and....

Shit. Literally.

[Warning: gross as all hell!]
Everyone's favorite National Champion went to his garage recently to put his bike away. What did he find?

Look to the left of the door. There's a close-up here (click at your own risk).

Yeah, someone dropped a load next to his garage! Not just any load, a HUGE load, that looks slightly bloody.

When asked for comments, The Champ replied, "I mean, com’n. you’re just walking down the alley and decide enter my gate to take a dump in my back yard??? WTF?" I couldn't have said it better myself.

Note the lack of any wiping materials. Someone's definitely got an itchy butthole.

No Spew This Week

I've been too busy to think.

So, I leave you with this clip of Tony Romo singing at a Cubs game. Man, does he ever suck.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Have I Mentioned Lately...

I break shit.

Yes sir, I folded the chainring on my road bike. Dammit.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Motorpacing...Stearns County Style

My wife's photography skills leave a lot to be desired, but you get the idea.

Friday, May 09, 2008


This game does not get easier as you get older...the buzzer just gets more frightening.

Fear The Water Buffalo

Thursday, May 08, 2008


Check out the ManBabies site. This is wrong on so many levels, yet I can't stop looking. - Dad?

It consists of photos in which a man's head and a baby's head are placed on each others bodies. You're welcome.

Older Than Dirt

Since Smithers has now moved into the 40+ group, I thought it fitting that I post this riveting video of him petting a dog.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I Got Nothin'

Busy at work.

Beat up from training.

Sniffly from allergies.

Sick of wind.

Tired of rain.

Ready for a nap.

Hating this time of year.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Don't Feed The Monkeys

They are too fat.

Weekly Spew

I like cherries, but dislike cherry-flavored candy.
I learned today that you're more likely to die falling out of bed than to get sued for illegally downloading music.
Talking shit about people says more about your character than it does about theirs.
There's an extremely obese woman who has started running laps around a cul-du-sac in our neighborhood.
People say "It is what it is" WAY too damn often.
If someone was jerking off in my back seat while I was driving, I'd totally say something to him about it.
At 27, I'm still finding out who my friends are. Sometimes ya just gotta cut 'em loose.
Success breeds envy.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Feliz Cinco De Mayo

Tenacious T: Food Critic

My wife and a I get a lot of shit because every time we go out to eat, we go to PF Chang's in Maple Grove. We've tried several other places, but always end up disappointed.

When we saw a review of Twin Cities restaurants that rated Rainbow Chinese above PF Chang's, we had to try it.

It was underwhelming to say the least.

We started out with some Shanghai Wontons, which were excellent. They were one of the more delicious things I've had in my mouth recently. There were some little round black things on the plate that looked like black beans, but tasted kind of like peanut butter. When I asked our server what they were, she replied, "Black beans". OK, but they don't taste like black beans. "They're fermented." OK, ewwwww.

The sake was acceptable, though I admittedly don't know shit about it.

The main course was really disappointing. I ordered Ginger and Garlic Chicken, which ended up being something akin to chicken nuggets in Arby's sauce.

My wife got Kung Pao Chicken, and it was essentially tasteless.

White rice is the only brown rice available.

Overall, the food lacked any kind of distinctive qualities. It was very generic.

The total bill was around $15 less than a similar meal at PF Chang's, but I'll gladly pay more for food that I can actually get excited about.

Pimpin' Ain't Easy