Monday, April 30, 2007

New 'Puter

I'd been fighting a losing battle trying to find a computer for my track bike. All I ask for is:

  • Measure speed to 1/10 kph
  • Must be wired (wireless has too much lag time for measuring sprints)
  • Must work on rear wheel for trainer use

I finally found a solution. The new CatEye Strada, mounted on the top tube.

I can't see it while I'm riding, but all I really care about is max speed at the end of a sprint.

If anyone has any other solutions, let me know. I just made $0.36, so I'm well on my way to being able to buy another computer.

I'm Rich!

I just got this e-mail from GoDaddy:

The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN®) recently agreed to reduce their Registrar Transaction Fee from $.25 to $.22. What does this mean for you?

Good news. You have been credited $.03/yr for each domain name you registered or renewed dating back to July 1, 2006* -- $.36 has been placed into your Go Daddy® account.

I guess that means I can almost afford to keep up with Donimator. Don't worry...I won't forget the little people.

Sunday, April 29, 2007


This guy is absolutely bat-shit crazy. He stands on the corner by the Dairy Queen in St. Cloud all flippin' day, just staring out at traffic. He also has a boombox. And a remote. Most of the time he's not even in full costume...just some random guy wearing shorts and a fucking cape. Seriously, what a fruit!


I was talking to the manager of a local business the other day when a kid came in to turn in his application.

I know I'm not supposed to read these things, but I snuck a peak anyway. Under the section where the applicant was to enter some relevant skills that he possessed, this kid had written "I withhold fundamental industry knowledge". You withhold it? Um, dude? That's not the right word to use there! You just told a potential employer that you will not share your knowledge with others. Not a particularly desirable trait in an employee.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Consistency is Key

I had high ambitions to break 12 seconds tonight, but I ended up at 12.09. The exact same time I rode out in L.A. two months ago. It was pretty windy tonight though, so I take some comfort in that. I'll rip out that 11.5 soon enough.

Ted rode a 12.18 tonight, which is a PR. Rock on!

A whole flock of loons showed up to ride tonight, many of whom had never even ridden a fixie before. It's odd to think that it was only 8 months ago that I myself was freaking out because I couldn't stop pedaling. Good times!

Skibby sez don't do drugs. Oh, and don't clip a pedal or you'll fall and die.


Bad Meat

Dairy Queen makes one shitty-ass cheeseburger.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Eyeball mutation

The girl who took my money at McDonald's yesterday had two different colored eyes.

Loonies on the Track

Tomorrow night LSC has the track reserved from 5(ish) to 8. If you've never tried the track, this is a great low-pressure time to try it. Skibby will be offering some expert instruction to help with the learning curve. Hope to see all you blue and gold MF'ers out there!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


We sold our house last night. Now begins the process of building a new house and moving out.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

New Wheels are Here!!!

My big pimpin' race wheels are here!

As soon as I get the tires glued up I'll be ready to kick some serious ass.

I found out that Cane Creek most likely won't be making these anymore, because Zipp isn't playing nice when selling them the rims. Note to HED...Cane Creek is looking for a source for carbon rims to make a kick-ass track wheel. Know anyone who's got 'em?


I was at a Users Group for Documentum today (leave it alone...I'm a computer geek). We were doing introductions at the beginning of the day, and the guy in front of me turns around and says "Hi, I'm frankly..."

Thinking he's going to tell a joke I say, "You're frankly what?"

He gets an odd look on his face and points to his name tag. The guy's name is Frank Lee. This just goes to show that I can make an ass out of myself in ANY situation.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Yes I Do!

The power is out in half of St. Cloud, but not at my house. Oh yeah, I have the power!

Note: I have no clue who the hell that guy is. I found the picture by typing "I have the power" into Google Images. I was hoping for He-Man, but some random protester is WAY better.


This is a picture of my son, Max. His ear cartilage is so flexible that he can tuck his ear inside itself. How crazy-looking is that!?!?


I think parents who get vanity license plates on cars that their kids have to drive are assholes. I saw some 16-17 year-old kid today driving a Buick with 'Peggy R' on the plates. He must just hate to leave the house.

Friday, April 20, 2007


The Sugino 75 Bottom Bracket on my track bike is toast after less than 700km. That's quality. But hey, it's Kierin certified!

Headwinds and Hicks

Headwinds suck on track bikes. I was out doing sprints on the road in a monster gear and I had to fight a 20mph headwind all the way home at around 40rpm's. By the time I got back, I felt like I had just gotten done squatting.

I did have some motivation, though. Some hicks in a jacked-up red pickup with (of course) a rebel flag in the back window were having a grand ol' time harassing me. Nothing picks up the cadence of a ride like knowing the redneck piece of shit who just threw an empty beer can at you will probably be back.

My refusal to acknowledge them (don't feed the animals!) must have been enough to bore them after only two laps past me. Weak.

Song of the Day

"I Miss You" by Incubus.

Thursday, April 19, 2007


What is it with some people? I'm standing in line at the video store trying to rent some movies for my sick kid while holding a baby in my arms. Some fat-ass retiree strolls up next to me and starts looking at the candy. He casually grabs a box of Raisinettes and squeezes into the line in front of me.

"Excuse me," I say. No reaction. I poke him with my movie.

"What," he says crabbily.

"You need to go to the back of the line," I say.

"I have less stuff than you, so I don't want to wait," he says.


He pushes in front of yet another person and puts his money on the counter. Even though the cashier had witnessed the entire incident, he is apparently a huge pussy, because he took the guy's money, and fatty left the store.

It's OK though...I took the high road and yelled “Fuck Off!” out the window as I drove by him in the parking lot. It feels so good to be the bigger man.


One of my biking buddies has had some bad luck as of late.

First, he snapped the frame on his brand new Madone when some pig-fucker shoulder-checked him into the barriers in a crit last week. Then, he snapped the chain on his loaner bike while warming up for Opus.

The final episode was today. Although not cycling-related, it's really flippin' funny! He got expelled from school today for shitting in a urinal. EXPELLED!!! While I'll be the first to admit that it was a poor decision (even if it was done on a dare), I don't think it warranted expulsion. The school actually called the police. Damn, you'd think they'd never seen a turd in a urinal before.

Well, at least I have someone to ride with on my day off tomorrow!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


We had a big going-away lunch and happy hour yesterday. It was really depressing to get together with all the people I've enjoyed working with over the years and know that it may be the last time I see some of them.

What a good-looking crew!

But Pete is an asshole.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

You don't say...

I submitted a question about a new vehicle through a dealer website, and here's the response I got:

Thank you for your Automotive Internet Inquiry. Our goal is to make sure that you receive quick and accurate information. We have one of the most successful Internet departments in this Market. To better serve your Automotive needs, please call us now at 320-252-####.

If you have one of the most successful internet departmenents in the market, why do I need to call you?


I spent a lot of the day yesterday looking for a replacement for my car, because it has a phantom oil leak that I've spent over $700 trying to have fixed, to no avail.

I cannot believe how horribly ugly the interiors of most cars are. Honestly, who wants a bench seat in the front of their car? Not to mention the clumsy-looking controls. Foreign cars are light-years ahead of domestics in both exterior and interior design, but they're also significantly more expensive...and I'm cheap.

I guess I'll just drop whatever amount of cash I need to to have my current ride fixed, because I didn't find a single car in my price range that appealed to me. I'd hate to be a used car dealer who has to try to convince potential buyers that these cars are cool.


We had 5 kids at our house last night. This taught me that I don't ever want to have 5 kids.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Song of the Day

"You Wouldn't Know" by Hell Yeah

Pantera drummer + Mudvayne Singer = f'ing awesome!

Waving Etiquette

On my first "real" motorcycle ride yesterday, I was surprised to find that nearly every single motorcyclist waved to me. It's not a true wave, it's more of a "point at the ground with your left hand". I felt like a huge tool doing it at first, but after I got over that I was a ground-pointing machine!

I did find, however, that I'm apparently not supposed to wave to guys on choppers. Those are the only ones that didn't wave back.

Does this mean that surly old men on motorcycles are friendlier than roadies? I think it does.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

The Hog is Home

I was so damn pumped to pick up my motorcycle this weekend, and it almost went to shit.

The first issue occurred less that 5 miles into my voyage. All of a sudden the bike just started slowing down for no reason. I got it pulled over to the side of the road, and when I pulled in the clutch I almost went ass-over-teakettle. I found that the calipers on the front disk brakes were clamped on tight to the rotors and the lever wouldn't budge. I called my uncle who lives a few miles away, and the only way we found to get me back on the road was to pound the calipers out with a hammer and chisel.

Not only was I riding a motorcycle I wasn't familiar with, I was riding it without a front brake. Good times!

We stayed at my mom's house for the weekend, and I ended up getting the flu. I barely recovered in time to ride back to St. Cloud on Sunday. I'm still trying to find a shop in town that works on BMW's.

Friday, April 13, 2007

A Trip to McDonald's

There's something about McDonald's that attracts America's worst and darkest (is that the opposite of "best and brightest"?). I go there on occasion for lunch because it's a block away from work.

Today I got there just in time for the lunch rush. There were over 40 cars in line for the drive-thru, so I decided to go inside to get my food. There were less that 5 people in the entire restaurant. I was in and out in less than 2 minutes. In that time, I saw 3 cars make it through the drive through. For their laziness, the people at the back of the drive-thru line ended up waiting at least an extra 15 minutes for "fast food". Fat America at its best.

As I was leaving, I started backing out of my spot. I just backed out a couple feet so I could see if anyone was coming, and some guy who is no less than 50 feet away slams on his brakes and starts making hand gestures at me. Seriously, WTF? I was in no way impeding his parking, and there were plenty of spots open. I stop and wait for him to go by. He's not moving, so I finally back out and this asshole follows me out of the parking lot, still making hand gestures at me. I pull over to the side of the road and he pulls over behind me. I must be bigger than he had originally thought, because he peeled outta there the second I got out of my car and went to confront him. What a pussy.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

New Max Speed

68kph (42+ mph) riding on the road last night on my track bike in 50x15. I utilized a small hill which is similar to the track in both grade and length. Hell yeah!

Ted threw down the gauntlet with a 66 on the previous sprint, and I just couldn't allow him to beat me. That's the benefit of having a training partner with similar abilities...we're constantly pushing each other to improve. He'll be kicking some Masters ass this year.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Bring on the Snow

4-6 inches over the next two days. I'm ready.

While I was out riding today, the kids made the most of the snow that's still on the ground from our last storm.

Remind me again why we live here?

Best Snack Ever

Take a spoonful of Nutella, roll it up in a crescent roll, bake at 375 for 11 minutes.

Perfection. Seriously, try it!


This asshole battery stranded me at Kohl's. I got some sweet new shoes, but I'm pissed off nonetheless. $96 and two jump-starts later, my car now starts.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Latest Addition to the Family

A couple month ago, I asked whether I should get a 30GB iPod or an 8GB Nano. I decided to go with the 30GB, since I wanted to be able to fit my whole music collection on it. I was perfectly happy with it until the first time I took it to the gym. The thing is just too damn big to work out with.

I figured since I got a new job, I could treat myself to a brand new shuffle. This thing is awesome...even smaller than I had imagined, and I didn't even notice having it clipped to my shirt at the gym. $79 well spent.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Big News!

I've sucked as updating this because I've been busy (and stressed out) lately. I'm happy to announce that I've got a new job! My current job is great, but my new one looks to bring me to a whole new's all very exciting!

I'll miss the people I work with, and it's always a bit unnerving to walk away from something familiar into the unknown. Overall, though, I think I'll be challenged (in a good way) and it will ultimately be the best move for my career.

OK, enough business.

This snow and cold is BULLSHIT! It was 80 three weeks ago, and it was 12 when I got in the car this morning. WTF? Seriously, I was ready for spring, ready to be riding outside, and ready to burn my shovels...but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Ugh.

I'm also highly annoyed with my realtor. When we had our house up for sale "By Owner", he was calling me every three days to see how things were going and tell me how quickly he'd be able to sell it for us. We finally caved in and listed it with him...and haven't heard from him since. He won't return my phone calls, and our house has yet to be shown (it's been over a month). If anyone knows of a way to get out of these realtor contracts, please let me know!

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Monday, April 02, 2007

Family Bike Ride

First family ride of the year. It was a little cold, but the kids loved it and it was great to get out of the damn house! It's kinda sketchy getting started on a fixie with the tag-along attached, but we managed.

Yes, I'm wearing wind pants...and yes, they are awesome.

Big Farm Dogs... little kids

Little kids do not love Big Farm Dogs

Sunday, April 01, 2007

My New Ride

I've been saying that my next vehicle would be a Beemer, and now I have it. I rule!

Unfortunately, crappy weather prevented me from riding it home this weekend so I'll be picking it up in a couple weeks.

Now I just have to figure out where the bike rack goes....

Song of the Day

"Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too" by Say Anything