Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Bianchi Baby

I wish I could have this much fun playing with a bag.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Tenacious-T Goes Upscale

I am many things, but classy is not one of them. I did not fit in on Rodeo Drive.

Sunday, February 25, 2007


I don't even know why I'm posting these pictures because I look like a complete tool, but Ted insists, so here ya go.

Photo credits go to Matt Pizza...thanks for showing me how stupid I look on a bicycle.

T's Big Day

Well, the trip out to L.A. has officially been worth it. We were back at ADT this afternoon. There was a smaller group of riders, but there were roughly 100 college volleyball players in the infield. Their constant cheers of "Go Bikers! Nice Legs!" sure make a guy feel good about himself.

Anyways...I started out with a couple jumps, then threw down a 12.4, which wasn't so good. There was a guy there who had been racing for several years who had asked if he could sit on while I did another jump, and he pointed out that I wasn't going fast enough before my jump out of turn 4. I tried his technique, and damn! 12.15

I decided to try one more before I packed it up. 12.09, my best ever. On that one, my new buddy couldn't even keep up. Things are starting to look good for the upcoming season!

Ted has been incredibly consistent. All of his times were withing .03 seconds of each other - 12.43, 12.46, 12.44, 12.43. He'll be tearing it up at Masters Natz this year.

This has been an awesome trip. Everyone at the track has been really cool and helpful. Many even offered advice on technique and gearing. Tomorrow we box our bikes up and head back to MN for another 3 months of winter. Ugh.

Seaside Pics

Ya can't come to Cali and not visit the ocean. We didn't really know where the ocean was, so we just started driving West, and ended up at the harbor. We got to see the course for the ToC, but decided we'd rather ride at the track that stand around in the rain.

Walking Tour of California

Damn, we walked a lot today. Since my little fender-bender set us back, we got into Santa Clarita with barely enough time to catch the ToC. The roads near the finish were already closed, so Ted decided that we should just get on the course and start walking towards the end.

We were about a mile from the car when the breakway group of 10 riders came by.

The team cars came next

The peleton was about 10 minutes back. The riders were so close I could almost smell the EPO.

We decided that, since we had already walked to far, we may as well check out the festivities at the finish. Every person we asked told us it was one mile to the finish. We'd walk a mile, and find out that it was still a mile away. Walk another mile...still a mile a way. It was like some sort of time warp.

We finally made it to the end in time to see some stragglers come in, as well as the awards presentation. There was a huge area full of tents from manufacturers. Lots of '07 eye-candy to see.


Hey...this is where my race starts!

Levi keeps the leaders jersey

This bear on wheels is the mascot for the ToC.

Look TT Bike


After we were finished, we had to walk over an hour on busy streets with no shoulder to get to the car, which is always fun. Overall, it was a cool experience. Sort of anti-climatic, since we only saw the riders for about 20 seconds, but cool nonetheless. Hopefully we'll get to see some of the final stage tomorrow.

Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?

Irony reared it's ugly head today when I got in a car accident. Suddenly, the mandatory rental insurance I purchased seemed like a blessing. It also allowed me to help a scared 16-year-old girl who couldn't afford to have an accident on her record. I turned it in as a hit-and-run, got a new Liberty, and called it a day. Her brother agreed to reimburse me for the insurance cost, so we both won.

The girl was pulling out of a parking lot, trying to cross about 7 lanes of traffic, and apparently didnt' see me. I slammed on the brakes, but it was too late. I smoked her Range Rover. What kind of kid gets a Range Rover???? Damn, lucky girl.

Luckily, no one was hurt, and the damage to the vehicles was minor. At first we couldn't even tell where I had hit her car, but it turned out that it was on the rear wheel. No biggie. Hopefully she learned her lesson.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Encino - Trespassing?

We loaded up the car early this morning and headed up to Encino for Keirin training.

Unfortunately, when we got there around 10, the session was just finishing. We explained to the guy running the training that we were here from MN, and had been told that the track would be open from 10-12. He was a nice guy, and told us that we could stick around and ride, even though he was leaving.

About 15 minutes later, we hear "get off the track, you are trespassing!!!" Aw, shit. Turns out it was Ken, the president of the velodrome association. It took some schmoozing, but he allowed us to stay. He was, however, very pissed as Henry, who had told us we could stay.

It was GREAT to be riding outside again, but the track was very bumpy and pretty crappy. Not bad for mass-start races, but terrible for sprinting. It is an outdoor, 250 meter, concrete track. We took it easy for the most part, saving ourselves for tomorrow when we're back at ADT. Encino is in a really cool location, surrounded by palm trees and mountains...a stark contrast to ADT which, while a world-class facility, lacks what I would call "atmosphere".

We also had time to go catch the Toc. More on that later. Here's the pics.

On the Road

We're Here!

Ted's ride (wanna trade wheels?)

Just kickin' it.

Ted throwing down

Location, location, location

Worst. Service. Ever.

Last night after riding, Ted and I went to the Chili's right down the road for beers and wings.

I have never, in my life, received such horrible service. I took over 10 minutes for the waitress to take our drink order. No biggie, right? It took over 20 minutes to get our drinks. I would have asked her where they were, but she had completely disappeared. To top it off, my drink was wrong. I ordered a Soco-7, and I'm pretty sure they gave me straight whiskey. It had now been about 45 minutes, and we finally flagged down a manager to let her know that my drink was wrong, and we still hadn't seen our wings. Turns out our order was never put in.

Fast-forward 35 minutes, we can's find the waitress again to pick up our money. Screw it, she's not getting a tip anyway. We pooled our money, left the cash, lodged a complaint with the manager, and took off.

In case you're keeping tabs, it took roughly 90 minutes for two drinks and an appetizer. I tried to leave several times, but Ted was feeling to lazy to get off his ass and go to another restaurant.

3 hours, 1 flat, and a 12.3

We spent the last 3 hours at ADT for Open Training. Everyone there was really cool. They told us about a guy from MN who was here a couple weeks ago with a white BT. Obviously, they raved about how much faster we were :-)

Ted and I both knocked about .5 seconds off our previous best flying 200 best today was a 12.3, so I'm on pace to be in the mid-11's by summer. My training is obviously paying off, since I set a PR on my first time on the track in over 5 months...with jet lag.

I got my 4th flat in under 300 miles on my track bike. I'm starting to get tired of replacing tubulars!

Anyway, enought's the pics:

Zipp Down!!!!

Ted's Zipp 900 Disc was damaged by the airline. Shitty.


We've been sitting in our hotel room like this all day, just waiting for the track to open.

Friday, February 23, 2007

We're Here!

We finally made it to our shit-hole hotel after getting raped by the rental car company. I reserved a "standard SUV", I got a Jeep Liberty. Sorry, but the Liberty is not standard's mini. I'm required to use their insurance? WTF?

Anyway...we didn't have enough time to check out the ToC today because we didn't get into Cali in time. There are still two stages left, so hopefully we can see some live action.

We ride tonight from 6-9...more later.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Almost There....

We leave tomorrow morning for Cali. I'll be blogging from the road, so stay tuned. I'm going to try to get some good pics of the ToC Time Trial tomorrow. We're going to hook up with Charlie, so the MN guys will be big pimpin' in California.

I hear the Twin Cities is supposed to get 2 feet of snow. Ha ha!

Thursday Song of the Day

"The Hardest Button to Button" by The White Stripes.

This is the last Song of the Day until I get back from vacation. I got bigger fish to fry.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Back on the road....sort of

I rode my road bike tonight for the first time since last August. My track bike is in a box ready for the flight to L.A. on Friday, so I decided to replace the broken seatpost clamp on my roadie and put it on the trainer. I forgot how wimpy road frames are! I flex the hell out of my poor little Trek. Can't wait to be back on a real man's bike.

Tuesday Song of the Day

"So Sad To Say" by The MIghty Mighty Bosstones. Who doesn't love the Bosstones, am I right? Of course I am.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Monday Song of the Day

"Everyone" by Socialburn.


I went shopping yesterday, and imagine my excitement to find a really nice sweatshirt on the clearance rack at Macy's. Excitement that quickly faded when I put the shirt on this morning and found a receipt in the pocket...from a restaurant I've never been to.

That's right, folks, someone bought this shirt, wore it, and returned it. And now it's mine. I don't know how to feel right now, but I'm a little wierded out.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Saturday Song of the Day

"Blackout" by (hed) pe.

Me Too!

Max had one of his all-time best quotes this morning as he was eating a piece of chocolate: "Dad, I wish junk food was good for you, because junk food is YUMMMMYYYYYY!" Have truer words ever been spoken? Keep in mind, this is a kid who wants to have dessert after every meal, including breakfast.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Friday Song of the Day

"Save Me" by Autovein. Good luck finding the song, cuz it ain't out yet. Go to their site and you can hear it.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Why Me?!?!?!?

I was sick today for the fourth time in two months. This time is was the flu. This blows.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Thursday Song of the Day

"Broken" by 12 Stones.

Got It!

I got my new iPod. I decided to go for the 30GB model after seeing how small the new ones are. It's really only marginally bigger than the Mini that it's replacing. Now I can take my collection of, um..."videos" to go.

No, there is no purpose behind the banana in the picture. I'd never photographed a banana before, and I found this one to be particularly good-looking.


WTF? The Chargers fired Marty Schottenheimer. This could be one of the stupidest moves in recent sports history.

Not only did they fire a coach that brought them to the best record in the NFL, they waited to fire him until all other decent coaching candidates had already been hired by other teams.

All that remains is leftovers. Unless they can pull Pete Carroll from USC, the Chargers are fucked.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Wedneday Song of the Day

I'm swamped at work, so this is all I'm able to post today. I'll try to think of something more creative tomorrow.

"Tears Don't Fall" by Bullet for my Valentine.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Tuesday Song of the Day

"Stigmata" by Slave to the System.

OMG, I'm a girl

The events of the past couple weeks have led me to believe that I'm becoming a girl. It all started when I shaved my legs. I justified it by telling myself "Now I'm a real cyclist." Whatever.

Now, ever since I hit 200lbs, I'm on the scale like 3 times a day.

Yesterday, I went shopping for new pants, and I had trouble finding some that would fit my ass. I then went home and watched "Desparate Housewives". I also watch "Grey's Anatomy" on a regular basis.

I'm also starting to enjoy spandex to an unhealthy extent.

I'm pretty sure I had PMS last week.

I'm a man dammit! I grew up on a farm. I own a motorcycle. I used to wear Wranglers. I squat 405 lbs. I listen to heavy metal. WTF is happening to me?!?!?!?!?

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sunday Song of the Day

"The Undertaker" by Puscifer. This is Maynard James Keenan's solo gig. Much more of an industrial sound than Tool.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Saturday Song of the Day

"The White Unicorn" by Wolfmother. I would listen to this on my iPod if it worked.

To Nano or Not to Nano...

Today is a sad day. My iPod Mini bit the dust last night. It still works in the docking station, but the headphone jack is shot, rendering it useless. This is a mixed blessing because, while I obviously didn't want my iPod to die, It's been completely full for quite a while and I've been looking for an excuse to get a new one. I'm tired of having to select songs to NOT add to the iPod because I don't have enough storage.

Now I've got to decide which iPod I should get. I've been wanting a Nano, because they're small and cool and uber-portable. The only problem is that the biggest Nano is 8GB, which is only 2GB bigger than I have now, so I would undoubtedly fill it up almost immediately. This puts me right back in the same situation I'm in now...albeit with a trendier product.

For the same price as the 8GB Nano, my other option is to get a 30GB iPod with full-color screen. The would give me 5 times the storage capacity that I currently have, and the new iPods are almost the same size as my Mini, so I wouldn't really be losing anything in that regard. I could also get the 80GB, but that seems like a bit of overkill. Plus, it's bigger.

I need suggestions!!!

Friday, February 09, 2007

Friday Song of the Day

"Junkhead" by Alice in Chains. Wanna know why Layne Staley died? Listen up.

You know what wierds me out?

When dudes stand at a urinal and pee with both hands in their pockets. That's just wrong.

Quote of the Day,

A guy at my office was talking to his boss:

guy: "I'm going home now."
boss: "It's only 2:00"
guy: "I know, but I really need to smoke a bowl."
boss: "Well, do what you gotta do, I guess."
guy: "Thanks, I knew you'd understand."


Thursday, February 08, 2007

Thursday Song of the Day

"The River" by Good Charlotte. The song plays when you go to their website. I don't care for these guys all that much, but this song features M. Shadows and Synyster Gates from Avenged Sevenfold, so it suddenly became acceptable.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Wednesday Song of the Day

"Built to Resist" by Grip, Inc..

I rule

I went to SCSU for Wingate testing yesterday, and I broke the ergometer not once, but twice! Damn, I am awesome! The resitance of the erg is based on body weight. I had the machine maxed out, and my cadence was around 200rpm. It is obviously designed for smaller, endurance-type riders. I may need to find someone with a bigger erg.

I did not feel awesome yesterday. I thought I was going to die after the 30-second test. I had to lie on the floor for about 20 minutes. I couldn't really hear anything, much less compose a complete thought. Good times!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Tuesday Song of the Day

"Firefly" by Breaking Benjamin. This is my second-favorite band.


I'm not sure how I should handle this situation. There is some little shithead who keeps attacking my son at preschool, unprovoked. In the past two weeks, this kid has punched, choked, pushed, and flung Max to the ground. According to the teachers, the kid is new and is "having some trouble adjusting." No shit! So, here are my options...waddaya think?

a. Teach Max to fight so he can beat the kid's ass
b. Let the teachers deal with it and consider it a life lesson: people are assholes
c. Pull Max out of school until the situation is resolved
d. Other


2.5 hours to get to work in St. Paul today. Saw at least 10 accidents.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Monday Song of the Day

"Liza and Louise" by NOFX. Any band with an album called "Never Trust a Hippy" is alright in my book.


I just ate a pear and it was delicious.

Bowling Mishap

OK, let me preface with "I was just repeating a joke I had heard, at my wife's request."

So, we're at the bowling alley in Sartell on Saturday night with Big Brit and 'J to the O L'. The place is packed with people. We'd had a few drinks and were having fun when Kristin asks me, "What's that joke about fat girls and Sex on the Beach?" I, being buzzed up (and therefor feeling extrememely funny), quote loudly "Fat girls always drink Sex on the Beach because it's the closest thing you can get to a milk shake at a bar. Bwahahahahah." Suddenly, I feel the cold, hard stare of a group of girls in the lane next to us. Kristin is pretending she doesn't know me. Oh, shit, what did I do? That's right, the 5 girls in the next lane were all drinking Sex on the Beach. And they were do I say this nicely..."heavy".

I felt bad, but what the hell do you do in that situation? Nothing. I just went on playing. I think they may have put a hex on me, because I couldn't bowl to save my life after that.


Sunday, February 04, 2007

Instant Super-Fan

I'm pretty sure my DIY jersey is the reason the Colts won. Sweet, huh?

Saturday, February 03, 2007

I'm sick

I'm on my third cold in two months. Is summer here yet?

Saturday Song of the Day

OK, two songs for today. "Cold (But I'm Still Here)" and "Over", both by Evans Blue.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Friday Song of the Day

"Caught in the Sun" by Course of Nature.

My Favorite Cycling Oxymorons

I love oxymorons. Mainly because it contains the word "moron" (snicker snicker). Anyway, here's my favorite cycling-related oxymorons:
Comfortable Saddle
Tasty Energy Bar
Elite Cat 3
Cool Team Kits (it's still spandex, people)
Stiff Carbon Frame (I flex the hell out of these things)
Epic 'Cross Race. (A 45-minute race does not qualify as "epic")

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Thursday Song of the Day

Late entry: "Darling Nikki" by Foo Fighters. This is actually a cover of a Prince song, which I heard for the first time today. Very cool.

Stearns County

Yes, I live in Stearns County. I was not born here, but have lived here for several years. We're known for very few things, one of them being "Stearns County Syndrome". Amazingly, the majority of Stears County residents do not know about this, but almost everyone from elsewhere in MN does. This started because of a group of Minneapolis Social Workers who declared that "in that county 75% of the families are involved in incest, usually father-daughter, and usually with the consent of the mother." Obviously, this is not the case today, as times have changed. However, I would like to add a few of my own Stearns County-isms

  • The Stearns County Intersection: There will be a stoplight. It will not be timed with other stoplights along the road and no matter which way you are coming from, it will be red.
  • The Stearns County Party: There will be Bud Light and a giant bonfire, burning permits be damned! Also, fireworks are traditionally fired in the direction of houses where residents are believed to be sleeping.
  • The Stearns County Trailer Park: This must have a high-class name, preferably something containing the word "Estate".
  • The Stearns County Road: Roads are only permitted to travel in a single direction for a distance of 0.5 miles, then must make an abrupt turn. We can't have out-of-towners successfully navigating the streets of our fair city.
  • The Stearns County Paper: I wish I was making this up. The St. Cloud Times, in an effort to be PC, refuses to divulge the race of anyone suspected of a crime. The descriptions will read something to the effect of "Police are searching for a suspected serial killer. He is 5'8", approximately 170 pounds, with short-cropped hair." Thanks. I saw 35 people fitting that description on my way to work today.
  • The Stearns County Stop: If, by chance, you come across an intersection that is not controlled by a stoplight, you will find a 4-way stop. This apparently short-circuits the brains of many Stearns County natives, and they find themselves unable to take turns and get through this obstacle in a logical manner.

I'm sure there are others, but I'm feeling lazy today.