Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Don't know football?

Going to a Super Bowl party but don't know who to cheer for? Click here to find your team.

Apparently, I am destined to cheer for Da Bears.

Wednesday Song of the Day

"In This River" by Black Label Society. This song is a tribute to Dimebag Darrell. RIP


My house has been on the market for a few days now, and I stayed home from work this morning because this guy was going to come look at it "mid-morning". Noon comes around and I decide I better give him a call to see if he's coming. No answer. He calls back an hour later. He can't make it because he "has to go on the air at 2:00".

Why the hell did you set up the appointment? I'm obviously going out of my way for you, and you're just going to blow me off? Rude.

WTF? 100th post.

Bodacious P loves him some peanut butter. Sadly, this picture required very little photoshopping.

Hey, this is my 100th post!

Mission Accomplished

I made my goal of 200 lbs at 7:34 this morning. This is true body weight...just woke up, empty stomach, no clothes. Hell yeah.

My starting weight was 173, so I have added 27 pounds or mostly muscle. I'll spend the next couple weeks shedding 4-5 pounds of fat, and I'll be ready to race. In February. Hmmmm....

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Tuesday Song of the Day

"Epiphany" by Staind. Nice slow one, but with feeling. It just came on my iPod, and it made me happy, so there ya go.

Ugh...I'm Itchy

Damn, how often do I have to shave? I'm all itchy.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Sunday/Monday Song of the Day

"Heal in Time" by Dark New Day. Awesome.

I finally did it

I shaved my legs this weekend.

I have always said that I'll never shave my legs. Ever. But, in my neverending quest to take this shit seriously, I bit the bullet and bought some Nair for Men. The process was rather time-consuming (my legs were very hairy), but rather simple.

It's really an odd feeling, both physically and mentally. Hopefully it isn't too big of a pain in the ass to maintain.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Saturday Song of the Day

"The Energy" by Audiovent. These guys put on one of the best live shows ever.

Moose Knuckle!!!

We had our LSC clothing pick-up last night. I'm really happy with everything...except the skinsuit. Sadly, it gives me a wicked Moose Knuckle. I figured an XL would be plenty big. I think it will be fine when I'm hunched over on the bike, but as soon as I stand up I'm singing an octave higher. It seems to fit fine otherwise, it's just a little...short.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Friday Song of the Day

Today's song has been around for a couple years, but I would guess most of you haven't heard it. "Flesh Into Gear" by CKY. This is Bam Margera's brother.


What's up everybody? Just figured I should post something today. How's life?

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Thursday Song of the Day

Warning: Not intented for those with weak ears.

"The Fury of Our Makers Hand" by DevilDriver. I got into these guys because the singer is Dez Fafara from Coal Chamber, my favorite band of all time.

Baby Showers are for Dudes, Too

I attended a baby shower for a co-worker today. Before you start thinking I've gone soft, let's look at the facts:

1. 90 minutes away from my desk
2. Free food
3. An entire room full of women

The cutsey talk about babies is always an adverse side effect, but the pros outweigh the cons. I probably shouldn't mention that I helped decorate...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

New ADT dates

We changed the dates of our trip to L.A. to February 23-26th. This just so happens to coincide with the Amgen Tour of California. Should be an awesome weekend of riding the track and watching some dopers, I mean "pros", race.

Wednesday Song of the Day

Another one from Avenged Sevenfold - "Warmness of the Soul". When metal-core bands bust out a piano, you know it's gonna be good.

You Can't Fix Stupid

This is a story about two PETA volunteers who tried to save the world and ended up killing several animals themselves. Great work guys! You're doing absolutely nothing to dispel the notion that you're all fucking nuts.

This is on par with the best episode of COPS ever. Some protesters were getting arrested for attacking people walking out of a store with fur coats and scarves. The arresting officer was quick to point out that the majority of them were wearing leather shoes. Hilarious!

Crappy Service

I don't know why I bother going out to eat. Some people have good experiences, but not me. Last night we went to Granite City in St. Cloud. They were out of my beer (which they still tried to charge me for), then they forgot to fry my jalapenos. Luckily, the manager came over to let me know they'd "take care of it right away". I never saw those jalapenos (which they still tried to charge me for). Our waitress sounded like a commercial...everything was so rehearsed. "Make sure you come in for our Sunday brunch, every Sunday from 10-2!" Fuck you. No.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Tuesday Song of the Day

"Falls Apart" by Hurt. Bad-ass tune.

Monday, January 22, 2007

My training comes full circle

I've gone through many phases of training, none of them working particularly well. In chronological order, they are:

The "Just Ride" phase: I was a newbie, so the fact that I was turning the pedals over seemed to have a positive effect. This is a common occurrence in almost every athletic pursuit. I probably could have experienced a similar progression in my fishing abilities had I spent a corresponding amount of time on it.

The "Just Ride Hard" phase: Ride hard. Every ride. Every day. Try to do the same loop as yesterday, but do it faster. Same the next day. I got fast in a hurry, and burned out almost as fast.

Fast-Forward through 5-6 months of "Why do I do this"

The "Just Ride Slow" phase: I may have mis-interpreted some advice I was given. "Go slow to go fast" does not work for me. I just got slow. Granted, I could ride slow for a long time, but I became complacent and wasn't pushing myself. I also got skinny (read: scrawny). My wife was unimpressed.

The "Structured Workouts" phase: In theory this would have been great, but I do not the the foresight to plan out an entire year of training. I know this was the most effective form of training in terms of how my body responded, but still wasn't quite right. I did not plan around my important events, and had lackluster performances.

Went to the track. Decided I wanna be a trackie.

Back to the "Just Ride" phase, because I have no flippin' idea how to train for this.

I'm now starting the "Get a Coach" phase: The goal was to hire someone with a proven track record of success who will plan out my year for me, apply the most current training techniques, monitor my progress, adjust workouts based on my feedback, and keep my on track (no pun intended). So far this seems to be money well spent.

This is the year I rock the 'drome.

Sunday/Monday Song of the Day

I missed yesterday, because no one (including me) reads blogs on Sunday. So I have an extra-special song for today.

PornStarChampion by Scum of the Earth. I can't stop listening to this one.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Sorry, Kid!

Kristin and I took the kids to the water park today at the Becker Comunity Center.

Kristin decided that we should have a contest to see who could swim underwater the furthest. Not being one to back down from a challenge, I accepted. I let her go first, and she made it about half the length of the pool. OK, my turn, I can beat that. I get to the area where I think she had stopped, and I see a pair of legs running slightly ahead of me. Shit, she's trying to cheat! So, of course, I grab onto the legs and pull her backward. I pop out of the water, ready to claim victory, only to find an extremely frightened (and chubby) little girl. Ooops! "Sorry, kid!" was all I could say. Kristin was 10 feet ahead, laughing her ass off. Thanks.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

First Outside Ride of '07

It was 19 damn degrees out today with a 20mph SSE wind. Suck. I met up with some of the Grandstay kids, Jim, Matt, and Chia, for a noon ride. I was on my fixed-gear 'cross bike, they all had gears. Since my training no longer calls for long road rides, I rode with them for about 45 minutes, then peeled off on my own to do my sprints.

What I didn't realize, however, was that we'd been going WITH the wind for 45 minutes, so I had to buck a massive, freezing headwind all the way back. By myself. On a fixie. Talk about a character-building experience! My back was still sore from deadlifts yesterday, so I ended up stopping twice to stretch my back and warm up a bit.

By the time I got home I was ready to be done. Not exactly the type of ride I had planned on, but fun nonetheless.

Saturday Song of the Day

"Sick Love Letter" by The Accident Experiment.

Hey, I know him!

With the opening of a new 3-screen theatre in Foley, attention has obviously been drawn to it's favorite son, Ryan.

Probably most famous for his blazing-fast run times in the Apple Duathlon, Ryan has now made it to the big time, being featured on the bottom corner of the front page of the Benton County News.

Calls to his home were not immediately returned, and he deferred all comments to his publicist.

Don't forget the little people!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Friday's Song of the Day

"Everybody is Easy" by Burden Brothers. The singer is Vaden Todd Lewis,the dude from The Toadies, which is awesome.

An interesting note: The Toadies broke up because their bass player quit. What band can't find a new bass player?!?!?!?

My cycling life-cycle

A lot of people ask me how the hell I got into track riding. Here goes:

I was a 200m sprinter in high school. I had one of the fastest times in the state my Junior year. Regretably, I didn't run my senior year due to lack of motivation and being preoccupied with girls. That's life.

After I graduated, I tried to stay relatively active, but didn't really have any structure. I played basketball and flag football with friends, lifted weights occasionally, and jogged when I felt like it.

When I was 19 I met my (future) wife. One day, she wanted to go for a bike ride, but I didn't have a bike. We went to the local bike shop to look for a new bike. Just when I had picked one out (like a $300 GT), her sister called and said that her husband had a Specialized Stumpjumper he'd sell me. At the time, I had no idea how a used mountain bike could cost $400, but I figured it would be worth it.

There's something about having nice equipment that automatically makes you take a sport seriously. I started doing Wednesday night club MTB rides, just having fun. In 2002 I decided to enter my first race, the "Boo Blast" at Monticello. I won the beginner race by about 10 minutes, got scolded by the promoter (how the hell was I supposed to know?), and I was hooked.

That winter I bought a road bike (gotta keep up with Ted). By "bought a road bike", I mean I traded web-site work for a road bike. My training was all over the place (more on that in a different post), but I was able to keep up with the Tuesday night "fast" group rides regardless. The riders I started out with would eventually become the Grandstay team.

For 2 years, I did the group rides, rode when I could, raced occasionally, and generally had fun with it. I would always do well in the sprints, but didn't have the endurance for anything longer than a 30-minute crit. Not knowing anything about training, I burned out big-time at the end of 2004.

It took me about 5 months to regain my motivation. I bought "The Cyclists Training Bible", and set up a training plan. By "bought", I mean "borrowed from Ted". See a pattern here? Yeah, I'm cheap. Anyways...I made my best progress ever on the road during this time, but lost a lot of my sprint power.

Last year, I convinced Ted to come to the Intro Velodrome classes with me, and everything seemed to click. The simplicity of the bikes, the complexity of the races, the feeling of diving into turn 3...everything felt right. When I did my first flying 200, I knew I was in deep.

I bought a track bike 2 weeks later, and I haven't been on my road bike since. I've converted my 'cross bike, which doubles as my commuter, to a fixed gear. I hired a real coach.

I still haven't shaved my legs.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Thanks for sharing. Now go away.

So, I'm filling up with gas this morning. It's cold as hell, so I get back in my car while the gas is pumping. When it's done, I get out and return the nozzle to holder.

I'm about to get back in my car when I hear a dainty "Excuse me". I turn around, and see some geek I don't know wanting to speak to me. He says, "I've actually seen cars start on fire because of the static-electric discharge from getting in and out while the pump is running, so you might want to watch that." At this point, I'm so taken aback that I have no idea how to respond. "OK," is all I can come up with. I then get in my car and leave.

Thursday Song of the Day

Papa Roach is back with "Forever". Great tune. It's a far cry from the rap-rock of Infest. Who knew Jacoby could actually sing?

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

"Daddy, we're all out of soap"

-"But we had a full bottle."
"I know. I used it all."
-"Um...good job" (?)
"Look how soapy I am!"

What a Disgrace!

So, I HAD to watch American Idol last night, since it was filmed in Minneapolis (shut up, you know you watched it too!). The last time I was this embarassed to be from MN was when I was in Florida on vacation and people kept saying "Oh my God! Say something with an 'O' in it!". Screw you guys, I'm going home.
Trish did a great summary of the show here. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Wednesday's Song of the Day

"Unholy Confessions" by Avenged Sevenfold. Rock out with your cock out!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Bodacious P F's Up

A little background: Bodacious P and his family subsist on a single cell phone. Yes, they're like old people, sharing one phone. They have no home phone. Since P works in the Twin Cities, he takes the phone in the morning. This morning, however, he not only took the phone, he took his wife's keys.

I sent him an e-mail to see if he could lift this afternoon. Here's the responese:
I don't know, things are kind of up in the air for my afternoon. My wife is pissed because I accidentally took both sets of keys this morning so she had to walk to the grocery store to call someone to come and get her and the girls.

Gee, I wonder why she's pissed!


This is one fucked-up story:
A cell phone in the front pocket of a man's pants spontaneously combusted, quickly ignited his clothes and left the man with second- and third-degree burns across at least half his body, according to investigators.

Luis Picaso, 59, was apparently sleeping on a white, all-plastic lawn chair in his room Saturday night and was awakened as he was ablaze.

First of all, why the hell was he sleeping on a plastic lawn chair in his room? There's something missing here...

Tuesday's Song of the Day

OK, this is going to sound a little cliche, but I'm really into "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance. Usually I don't pay attention to any band that is featured on MTV, but I liked these guys back in '04 when they put out their album Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. They've also toured with Avenged Sevenfold, which says a lot about them. Check it out.

The D/A's Rock!

I spent a couple hours last night adjusting and tweaking my new shoes/cleats/pedals, and I've decided the the D/A pedals rock. They are infinitely stiffer and smoother than my Speedplays, and I set a new PR on my trainer. Ya can't argue with results!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Song of the Day

I have great taste in music. I really do. That being said, we have a new feature here on Tenacious-T's blog: Song of the Day. Each day, I will give you my favorite song of the moment. Download it, listen to it, love it, thank me.

Today's song of the day is Paralyzer by Finger 11, probably best known for their song "One Thing" from a couple years ago. This song is a great blend of funk and rock. Listen to it twice before making your decision. If you still don't love it, there's no hope for you.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

"Fast Lane" my ass!

Self Check-Out lines at the supermarket have to be the single worst idea of all time. Comsumers are simply not smart enough to handle this responsibility. "I can't scan my bananas!" Of course you can't, dumb-ass, there's no bar code.

There is nothing "fast" about this lane. Nothing. Once you scan an item it takes 5-10 seconds for it to process, then the machine does not recognize that you have already placed your item in the bagging area, and repeatedly reminds you to do so. You are then forced to jump through hoops in order to scan your next item because apparently it is a cardinal sin to scan an item without first bagging the previous item.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Upgrade Time!

New Pedals

And Shoes

I put these on my track bike tonight. Overall first impressions are good. I'm familiar with Specialized shoes...they're all I wear, but the Pro Road (new '07 style too, beeyotch!) is on a whole 'nother level. Super-stiff and as comfortable as any Sidi's I've tried.

I'm still not sure about the pedals. I've got Speedplays on all my bikes currently, and I always hate to mess with a good thing. The problem is that I don't know if I trust my little Speedplays for standing starts and hard jumps on the track. I know they make a 'track' model, but it has some inherent problems that I can't get over. So far, though, the D/A's feel really solid. I equaled my PR's on the trainer, so they're definitely not holding me back.

I always hate adjusting new cleats. I'm mildy (read: severely) obsessive about it, so I tend to drive myself nuts with 1mm tweaks day and night for the first week. Here we go...

Friday, January 12, 2007

ADT Anyone?

Dave Gray, Ted, and I are going to be in LA Feb. 9-12 to ride at the ADT Velodrome. Anyone else want in? E-mail me: taylorolson at gmail dot com. This is a great opportunity to get some benchmark times heading into the spring.

Now I'm pissed

So far, I've tried to stay away from talking about the war in Iraq, mainly because I don't like arguing politics....but now I'm pissed off. My friend Erik's wife called me bawling last night because they just found out that he is stuck in Iraq indefinitely. What the fuck does "indefinitely" mean, you ask? It means maybe 2 extra months, maybe 2 extra years.

This is complete bullshit, and our soldiers and their families should not have to suffer because our government fucked up! Fuck this. I'm pissed.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


Kid #2 dropped a massive #2 in the bathtub tonight. Shitty.

Tip of the Day

Do not try to hold in a fart while doing sit-ups. The harder you try, the louder it is.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Goal: World Dominance

Apple pimps everyone

Seriously, if you're a maker of any type of consumer electronics, you have to just be hoping and praying that Apple doesn't decide to venture into your market.

I'm pretty sure they just killed Blackberry, Palm, and TiVo.

Look out Magic Bullet, the iBlender is coming soon!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Things I learned this weekend:

  • The fact that something is called a 'Comedy Club' does not necessarily mean it will be funny.
  • Joe Buck sounds funny saying "Alice in Chains"
  • Tony Romo should have wiped Carrie Underwood's thigh juice from his hands before trying to take a snap.
  • A 13-month-old can climb onto the top of a computer desk and stand on a laptop
  • People who use big words seldom understand their meaning and tend to use them out of context, resulting in hilarious consequences when someone calls them on it.
  • No one wants to buy my elliptical machine. No one.
  • Moving the contents of my garage to a storage shed does not take 2 hours. It takes 2 days.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Gotta Ride

In keeping with my New Years Resolution of "Don't drive when I can ride," I rode to the gym tonight. I know what you're all thinking: "Tuesday is squat day! It would be silly to ride your bike to the gym on squat day." Well, folks, the ride home was significantly longer than the ride there, but a resolution is a resolution...until I forget about it in a couple weeks. There was more salt than snow on the roads, so I expect the Surly to be rusted out by morning.

Riding home in the dark, I took a snowy trail, and it was really quiet and peaceful. All I could hear were the voices in my head.

Headlights Rule!

How Depressing...

I installed a counter on my blog this morning. I've had 7 hits. 6 of them were me, checking to see if the counter was working.

Maybe I should remove the counter and go back to believing that people actually read this crap.