My Favorite Cycling Oxymorons

I love oxymorons. Mainly because it contains the word "moron" (snicker snicker). Anyway, here's my favorite cycling-related oxymorons:
Comfortable Saddle
Tasty Energy Bar
Elite Cat 3
Cool Team Kits (it's still spandex, people)
Stiff Carbon Frame (I flex the hell out of these things)
Epic 'Cross Race. (A 45-minute race does not qualify as "epic")