Busy Weekend...Redneck Bars

We got a babysitter for Saturday night, so decided to head out to Powder Ridge to do some snowboarding. We boarded for about 4 hours, and I'm only a little bit injured. We head up to Lutsen next weekend. I almost forgot what it's like to ride on real snow, instead of man-made ice crystals.

We went home and changed, called some friends, and decided to go see Sliptwister at Bubba's Bar in Sauk Rapids. The guitarist was phenomenal, but the atmosphere was a little odd. I have never in my life seen so many 50+ women in leather pants pulled up past their navals. I could have stayed there and people-watched all night. The bar literally had a big digital counter displaying time left until Sturgis. Yeah, it was that kind of place.

We then went to Benton Station to see what we were told was "a really cool band with a chick lead singer." Yeah, it was a flippin' country band featuring a guitaris in a Rasta hat. Ugh. We had met 2 other couples there, though, so we decided to hang out for a while. That's when I saw the morbidly obese lesbian couple...probably pushing 600lb for the two of 'em. Then I noticed that there was an entire gaggle of lesbians there...some sort of lesbian party! Ooh, how exciting! We then learned that this group basically consisted of ob/gyn nurses...who are lesbians. Hmmmmm.

This news was quickly followed by a vision of a scantily-clad girl skank-dancing up on her mom and dad. WTF is going on? This girl continued to skank-dance through all manner of music...fast, slow, country, rock, you-name-it. Maybe someone should buy her some swing dancing lessons to broaden her horizons. Her skirt was so short that the entire bar could see her thong on numerous occasions...while she was grinding on her parents. Creepy. Her dad must have been so proud.

Then some guy comes up and decides to hit on my wife by proxy. He says to her friend "I like your friend's braids", to which the friend responds, "She's married", and points to me. He says, "well I still like her braids", then turns to me and says "please don't punch me". Hey, fucknut, if you have to request that you not be punched, maybe you shouldn't say what you just said. I simply waved and said "Goodbye", and he left. I later heard him telling another girl how much he liked her hat. What a tool.

This concluded our tour of Central MN Redneck bars, so we went home and got a few hours of sleep, then went XC skiing at Quarry Park. Good times.