I Am An Awesome Runner

And I have a medal to prove it!

I smoked from the time I was 17 until I was about 21. I got out of shape and didn't take very good care of myself.

One day, I decided to get my shit together. I quite smoking and started running. Every day. At first, I couldn't even make it a mile. After a few weeks, though, I could run for about 20 minutes, though it was hard as fuck.

Somehow, a friend convinced me to do the Get-In-Gear run with him. I knew I couldn't complete the standard 10km (6.2 miles), so I opted for the 2km "Fun Run". No one told me that "fun" = "kids". Sure, there were other adults there...the moms and dads of the kids in the race. Needless to say, I felt a little out of place.

The worst part was that I didn't even win! Not even close. I was probably somewhere around 50th. Or 100th. Some of those little fuckers are fast! I even got beat by a chubby kid in jean shorts.

After the race I went to the booth where everyone who registered for the 2km Fun Run was to receive a medal. I walked up to the guy working and informed him that I was there to pick up my medal. He informed me that the medals were only for the kids who ran the Fun Run. I sheepishly displayed my registration form and told him that I had, in fact, completed the Fun Run. He seemed very impressed (I could tell by the way he chuckled) and produced a medal for me, which I proudly wore for the rest of the day.