Meet my Harley-ridin', Elvis-impersonatin', pig-farmin' Uncle Bill. He got married on Saturday.
There is nowhere in this world where you can see as much random shit as a wedding reception. They had the party outdoors at a Harley bar...and inexplicably hired a polka band to play. This, however, did not stop my panty-less cousin from flashing everyone her cooter on the dance floor. Twice.
Drunk Uncle Ron, who just loves to pick people up (literally lift them up off the ground) was in rare form. He picked me up no less than than 5 times, and also shoved a half-eaten pork sandwich into my mouth.
Uncle John gave me a delicious cigar, which was promptly stolen by a Mexican. No joke.
My cousin Emma must have been tired of watching her own baby, because she tried to send him home early with my deaf Grandpa who has absolutely no capabilities to care for a child.
My cousin Josh is a huge pimp. He had like four girls around him at all times...and there were even a couple he wasn't related to...high five!
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