Friday, September 07, 2007

Protein Powder Haikus

I am often asked what brand of protein powder to buy (OK, so I've actually be asked like once, but whatever). Here are my reviews of several different brands, in haiku form.

GNC Pro Performance® 100% Whey Protein
Ninety-six servings
Tastes good with a banana
Overpriced, but good


EAS 100% Whey Protein
Lumpy as all hell
Tastes like real live horse manure
Don't buy this, ever


BSN Syntha-6
Tastes like a milk shake
Holy shit, it costs how much?
May be worth it, yum.


Optimum Nutrition 100% Whey Gold Standard
Tastes better than most
Doesn't get lumpy, foamy
We have a winner!


Fitness Labs Whey Fit Concentrate
You call this chocolate?
Why is it so lumpy, yo?
Hey, at least it's cheap.

10 comments:

Gilby said...

With soy or cow milk,
chocolate ON tastes good.
Another glass, please.

Anonymous said...

What about Designer Whey?

Tenacious T said...

What about Designer Whey?

Never tried it

Lunatic Biker said...

How about Ovaltine?

Tenacious T said...

I'm all about the NesQuik. That darn rabbit just cracks me up every time...

Dan Cleary said...

There was a study that said a good old fashioned glass of chocolate milk has all the nutrients you need

Franz said...

There is also media hype about walking or exercising 10 minutes 3 times per day to be healthy.

To become an elite sprint athelete you must consistently stimulate protein synthesis (muscle growth). It is a very complex metabolic process. But basically you need to combine several factors to achieve muscle gain. One factor is you need to consume enough quality calories that your body can be in an anabolic mode. Chocolate milk will work but you are also including some poor quality highly processessed sugars. If you consume too many simple carbohydrate calories, you will add body fat. You maximum watts per kilogram is hugely important for quick acceleration. Simple carbohydrates are easily converted to fat. Why take the chance of adding bocy fat. If you consume calories when your body is at it's most ananbolic (within 30 minutes of a maximal workout) maximize the opportunity by consuming the highest quality food. Protein powders are much more convienent than a dozen egg whites or 10 ounces of white fish broiled don't you think.

Skibby said...

kind of like that Dairy Queen you guys eat after you leave the track, don't you think?

Franz said...

Hey Skibby, listen to what I say not what I do.

If I did everything right, maybe Tainter and Taylor would not have smoked me in the match sprints.

Look out next year guys I am skipping the beers and DQ's (Stearns County thing)for a yummy protein shake:)

Theory said...

In response to Dan Cleary: I read somewhere too, that good ol' chocolate milk is just as good, if not better, for your body, as protein shakes after a workout.
Myself...after trying a few different protein powders over the years, I've stopped on Muscle Milk (for the time being). Pretty tasty and it actually seems to "work" compared to the others. Of course, the benefits might just be in my mind, too.