Hello From Yo Mamma

Apparently there is some kid out there with the same name and me, and he is incapable of properly providing his e-mail address to people. I have deduced this based on the number of e-mails I get that are meant for him.

Yesterday, I received a recipe for chocolate chip cake from someone named Karen, who was excited to see me at school tomorrow. She also wanted me to know that the Shrimp Pasta recipe must be on Adam's computer, but she has a copy of it at home. Oh, and if I dip strawberries in chocolate, I should wipe them with a paper towel, not rinse them in the sink. Also, Abbet says Hi!

Now this kid's mom has been e-mailing me, with hilarious results. Yesterday, I received this e-mail from "Nancy" with the subject "H [sic] from mom":

Is this ur address?

First of all, whose mom writes in txt speak? Secondly, if it's your son, fucking call him and ask, don't just send out random e-mails. If you have to call someone, and you don't know their number, do you just start dialing and hope for the best?

I generally ignore these e-mails, mostly because I don't care, but also because if I respond I figure my address will now be in the address book of these people, thus giving a higher incidence of getting more inane e-mails from them.

Today, I had another, with he subject "Hello from yo mamma", which read:

Hi guys!
Is this Tay's gmail address cause I don't know!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY !!!
TOMORROW
LOVE ALWAYS
MOM

Then I looked, and realized that she had copied 8 OTHER PEOPLE ON THE E-MAIL!!!!

I decided I should respond, lest she inconvenience me further. I replied with a simple "No. Wrong e-mail."

Undeterred, I got another e-mail from her, still with all 8 recipients:

Well, glad to get thtat straightened out!
I'll talk to you after 9:30
XX

*sigh*

I replied again: "No. Seriously. I'm a 28 year old computer programmer from MN. More importantly, I'm not your son."

Perhaps still not convinced, I received yet another e-mail 30 minutes later:

PS you can paick up grandma's laptop next Tues on your way up to Madison !

Oh boy! Can I?!?!?!?!?!?

I think I'll just stop responding, because she obviously does not have the mental capacity to handle me telling her to bang her dense head against a wall until reality sets in.

Oh, and based on her e-mail address, it appears that she is a high school teacher. Lucky kids.

I swear, I'm like a magnet for half-wits.