In The News...

I rarely watch the news. I think it's mostly sensationalistic garbage, and I prefer to get my fix of current events through TMZ and People Magazine. Anyway, I watched the news last night.

The News: H1N1 Virus is no longer called 'Swine Flu' and is also no longer considered to be any worse than the flu that normally goes around.
My Take: Shocking. Why the hell wasn't this the initial reaction, until proven otherwise? I heard that they changed the name of it because Egypt killed all of the pigs in the country to prevent an outbreak. You can't fix stupid. I bet all those people walking around in haz-mat suits feel pretty silly right about now.

The News: Gloria Allred is suing to keep Octamom from putting her kids on TV
My Take: If Gloria Allred was really trying to help these kids, she wouldn't be forcing their mom to fork over money she doesn't have to pay for legal expenses for a frivolous lawsuit.

The News: Here's the 4 questions to ask your partner before getting married.
My Take: Wow, what a concept. You should make sure you have similar goals and are able to communicate properly before choosing to spend your life together. Ya think? Incidentally, my wife and I had the highest compatibility profile in the Prepare-Enrich Program that our tester had ever seen. He literally said, "Holy shit". He's a pastor.

The News: Can fish feel pain? It's a definite probability.
My Take: It's a living creature with a hook through it's mouth. I'd venture to guess that it hurts. "But they don't scream or anything" say the people being interviewed. *Sigh* I give up. Also, why is this news?

The News: Rhode Island officials issue arrest warrant for alleged Craigslist Killer, claiming "he will be brought to justice".
My Take: The dude is already being held without bail in Boston on murder charges, but some blowhard in Rhode Island wants to cash in on his 15 minutes of fame by charging the guy with the attempted robbery of a hooker. Weak.