Spew

Why does every single person I pass in the hallway at work feel the need to stop me for a conversation when I'm clearly in the middle of smuggling over 200 plastic spoons from the lunch room to my office?
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I always put the toilet seat down. Always.
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I always thought "pet dander" referred to poo. Turns out, it's not. Sure sounds like it though.
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I went to Starbucks this morning. It's way better than Caribou. Well, the mochas are better anyway.
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Why is everything on the clearance rack so fucking ugly?
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I once drove almost all the way to work before I realized I wasn't wearing pants. It was yesterday.
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The Blackberry Curve outsold the iPhone in the first quarter of 2009. Suddenly I'm the cool kid with the hot phone. w00t!
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Panchero's was closed for Cinco de Mayo. Huh? Wouldn't you want to be, like, I dunno...open?
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Last night, I accidentally made a mango smoothy with sour cream instead of yogurt.  I ate the whole thing anyway, because I don't like to waste mango.  Shit's expensive.
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I just got an e-mail from Pablo Picasso. He wants my bank account info. Very exciting!
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I fucking hate the city of Hutchinson. I want to kill someone every time I drive through there.
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Remember when people used to buy water beds? What happened to those?
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I was just informed at work that, in order to improve efficiency, I now have to enter my vacation time in two separate systems. Wha???
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I can totally see how people get addicted to pain pills. I don't have an addictive personality, but if I did, I'd totally be hooked on these things. Best naps ever!