I've said it before: I hate pyramid schemes and the people who run them.
It has been brought to my attention that a woman I worked with over 5 years ago - a woman I barely remember existed - is going to be calling me tonight in an attempt to involve me in her pyramid scheme. Needless to say, this pisses me the hell off.
I'm trying to determine the most awesome way to handle the situation. I could just be an straight-up asshole, but that's not very much fun. I mean, it is, but I've got other motives here. I want to make her feel like the idiot she is, while at the same time downplaying the fact that I am, in fact, an asshole.
A daunting task, for sure.
See, I want to make her have a realization, without telling her flat-out, that she is retarded and should stop these silly endeavors.
I also want it to be super funny.
I'm accepting any and all advice.
8 comments:
Build her up. Get all excited about it and then chop it down.
I'll buy you a drink if you make her cry.
IF...it's at your house, open the door wearing a speedo(we know you have one). Two drinks if you make her cry.
Better yet wear Ted's leopard skinsuit.
Have her call your house line. Act very excited and interested, and right when you're about to sign up, have your wife pick up another phone in the house and interrupt, explaining that you've been "a little slow" since "the tractor accident" and it's best that she not contact you with any more business propositions. With any luck she'll feel terrible, and it might even be hilarious.
All depends on the size of her rack.
I would tell he money is over rated. Also let her know the bible tells us it is easier for a camel to get through an eye of a needle than a rich man to get to heaven. So the race for material excess is futile.
Why has no one suggested that you invite her to your house, drink beer, wear some sweat pants, and piss yourself during the conversation.
OK, the plan so far is...dress in Ted's leopard skin suit and sweat pants. Build her up, crack open the beers, lot's of 'em. Then depending on the size of her rack have your wife come in and bring up "the tractor accident" and break her down by pissing yourself. Priceless!
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