Update

I decided to go skiing last night, so I ended up missing the call from my new friend. No worries, though! She'll be calling back tonight.

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions. She won't be coming to my house, so pissing myself would probably not have the desired effect, though I may do it anyway just for good measure. We also don't have a land line, so there's no good way to have my wife pick up another phone. I do like the idea of getting all righteous on her ass. "How can you brag about your personal finances at a time when Haiti is struggling? If your new business venture is really making you that much money, you should be doing all you can to help others. Shame on you!" Or something like that.

Then I'll piss myself.

I mentioned that I went skiing, yes? Yes. This was my second time out on my new skis, and I'm getting more comfortable. I went off a few smallish jumps and rode a couple of the boxes. There's a rainbow rail that I wanted so badly to ride, but I kept bitching out at the last second. Maybe I'll hit it next time.
I had been planning to take the wife and go to Colorado skiing this Spring, but I don't think it's going to happen. They don't have very good snow this year, and I'm not spending $100/day on lift tickets to ski on shitty snow.

I'm working from home today because I had to bring my Exploder to the shop. I needed and oil change and a couple things inspected. There are some issues with my suspension for sure, and I hope it's something cheap.

My 'Service Engine Soon' light has also been on for like a year, so I should probably get that looked at. I'm pretty sure I just need a new gas cap. The error code indicates a leak in the evaporative system, and I've had it looked at twice and they haven't found any issues.

I've had some thoughts about trading the Exploder in on something different, but nothing else in my price range offers a V8 and 3rd-row seat and will still fit in my garage. I really really wanted a 4-door Jeep Wrangler, but those fuckers are expensive! Holy shit, I had no idea an SUV with no options, no insulation, and poor highway manners would cost $30K! Even 4 years old they're over $20. I'm cheap as shit, so that's not really an option.
One day, I will own a Jeep.

I also looked at a Hummer H3, which from the outside looks a lot like a Wrangler 4-Door. The interior, however, is waaaay smaller that it seems like it should be. The cargo area is almost non-existent. I need to be able to fit my dog's kennel, at a bare minimum.
So I decided to keep my Exploder for a couple more years. I even put new tires on it!

Now you're all caught up. Don't you feel special?