Signing Off

I'm leaving tonight for a 5-day vacation, so I shall leave you with my thoughts on current events.

• Tour De France: This is awesome! I haven't had this much fun watching the tour EVER! We've got a pretend bike race going on AND we've got real live celebrity drama! Not only do we have changes in the GC due to riders having an off day, we're having full teams completely withdrawing from the race!
  
  Those of you who are pissed off about all the doping...tell me WHY! Did you actually think these guys were clean? Come on...this is the WWE of Europe. These dudes are riding up the face of a fucking mountain faster than I can ride down it...it ain't all genetics.
  
  I have now declared myself the victor of the TdF. By the time they're done weeding out all the dopers, we're gonna be left with a bunch of guys like me. Honestly, does anyone really want to sit down in from of the TV with a bag of pork rinds to watch guys like me race around a foreign country? No. Just let these guys be ENTERTAINERS, cuz that's all they are to me.
  
  The REAL cyclists are the guys with jobs and families who still manage to make it out and test themselves in races, even if they get DFL. These are the types of riders that I want to be associated with.
  
  
• Michael Vick: Yes, he is a piece of shit and most likely some sort of sociopath, but get real, folks. There are much bigger issues going on in the world today. Think of how much good could be done with the type of public outcry that this dog-fighting has brought on? What if all the people who are enraged over this turned their energies toward ending domestic violence? Seems to me the lives of a few animals are trivial compared to the millions of battered women in this country. Let's get our fucking priorities straight.
  
  
• Lindsey Lohan: If you see her, give her a hug from me. It must be very hard to be very rich and very stupid.
  
  
• Britney Spears: See above.