Pyramid Schemes

You know who they are. Wandering around stores wearing those stoopid-ass bluetooth headsets. Then they walk up to you and start making small talk. Then they ask where you work. Then they have a "great opportunity" and want to "get together sometime."

They're usually trying to feel you out to see if you're a sucker, or short on cash, or retarded...then they pounce.

Cocksuckers.

I've had two of them approach me in the last couple weeks, and I love to fuck with 'em.

SCENE 1: Plumbing Aisle at Fleet Farm
Guy: "Hey, how's it going"
Me: "Fabulous, how are you?"
Guy: "Good, good. Are you from town here?"
Me: "Yep"
Guy: "What do you do for work?"
Me: "Computer stuff"
[awkward pause]
Guy: "Buying a sprinkler system, huh?"
Me: "Uh...yeah."
Guy: "Wow, those are really expensive, aren't they"
Me: "Not when you make as much money as I do. This is pocket change. I'm kind of a big deal if want to know the truth."
Guy: "Oh" (Sheepishly turns away)
END SCENE

SCENE 2: : Video Game Store (don't ask...)
Guy: "Hey, how's it going"
Me: "Fabulous, how are you?"
Guy: "Good, good. Are you from town here?"
Me: "Yep"
Guy: "What do you do for work?"
Me: "Computer stuff"
[awkward pause]
Guy: "Buying a PlayStation, huh?"
Me: "uh...yeah."
Guy: "Wow, those are really expensive, aren't they"
Me: "Actually, I make 6 figures working from home just a few hours a week. It's a great opportunity, and I'd love to get together sometime and talk about it. Here, let me get your number."
Guy: "Uh...nevermind" (Sheepishly turns away)
END SCENE

Stop bothering people with your "opportunities". Just because you were stupid enough to sign up doesn't mean the rest of us are, too.

If you ever hear someone mention the "market share of internet sales", RUN AWAY.

And no matter what someone tells you, QuickStar is, in fact, Amway.