Friday, July 24, 2009

Spew - Tour De France Edition

Words can't describe how happy I am to not have to see Cadel Evans on TV all the damn time.
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Cav is a fucking stud. Such a fucking stud. Ya know what he is? A fucking stud.
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I don't like the Garmin team's attitude. They walk around with a chip on their shoulder, like they're entitled to something they haven't earned. Suck it!
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Contador really seems like kind of a dick.
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Lance seems human for the first time ever. I kinda like it. And I kinda like him. And I think that he can officially call his comeback a success.
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I heard that TV viewership of the Tour is up 80%. That's a good thing.
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I can't believe Thor Hushovd protested that sprint. What a whiner.
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I like the way the Schleck brothers talk.
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The way Contador is climbing sure reminds me a lot of Riccardo Ricco. And The Chicken. I'm just sayin'.
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When Jens Voigt crashed, I thought he died. Scary shit.
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Watching Wiggins tranform into a roadie has been fun. He's definitely the break-out star of this tour.
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I realized that I miss the annual "Alejandro Valverde fails to live up to Tour hype" phenomenon.
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I did not, however, miss the annual "Greg LeMonde calls the Tour leader a doper" phenomenon. Oh, wait....there it is.
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Those dudes ride up mountains faster than I ride on flat roads. This makes me sad.
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Every time I turn on the Tour, I look at those guys and think to myself, "I'm sure glad I don't weight 130 pounds".
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Why does Menchov keep crashing? Seriously, it's not like it's his first time on the bike.
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Sastre seems like he doesn't care at all. He's just along for the ride.
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I think all sportscasters should be British. It just brings a sense of authenticity to an event. Paul & Phil amuse me. I can't even look at Bob Rolle, with his stupid 2-ear headset thing.
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I wish there had been an all-out inter-Astana war. Domestiques choosing sides, Lance and AC attacking each other, Johan Bruyneel trying to run his riders off the road in the team car. Stupid professionalism always ruins my fun.

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