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I love puppy kisses.
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Why are mustard bottles perpetually almost empty???
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I get jealous of people who can express their thoughts more eloquently than I can.
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I refuse to use "txt speak" when texting, and I hate it when people send me text such as "wuts ur nmbr?" or "who dis". You sound like a fucking half-wit.
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Sometimes I steal other peoples' catch-phrases and pass them off as my own.
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Sometimes I steal other peoples' catch-phrases and pass them off as my own.
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Daisy Of Love sucks. Watching a group of douchey guys do douchey things is not entertaining. Plus, has anyone noticed yet that Daisy isn't attractive? #hotchickfail
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I live in constant fear that something horrible is going to happen to the people I care about. It's horrible.
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I live in constant fear that something horrible is going to happen to the people I care about. It's horrible.
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Why are my kids so sweet in the morning when I'm leaving for work, but so annoying at night when I get home?
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If I was a gay, lesbian, or bisexual, I don't think I'd want the trannies lumped in with my group. No sir. So not the same thing.
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I know way too many people who need to grow the fuck up.
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I've always wanted to learn how to play guiter well, but I really can't be bothered to do something I'm not immediately good at. I guess playing Smoke On The Water will have to suffice.
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I was almost convinced to tweet yesterday. Almost. The holdout persists.
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I am currently drinking the lumpiest protein shake ever. The first sip I took made me shiver.
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I hurt my hip yesterday in the process of wiping Addi's but after she pooped.
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I'm way anal about the dangers of household chemicals.
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Is wood-tick season ever going to be over?
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Why is it always the biggest losers who seem to have the most self-confidence?
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The best part about being married is having someone who thinks it's cute when I say perverted things.
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