Octane

This is the second summer that I've been the semi-proud owner of this sexy beast of a boat. Prior to that, it belonged to my father-in-law, so this burnt-orange beauty has been a part for my life for about 6 years. In that time, it has never run properly. Ever. I mean, shit, the thing is from 1978, unlike me, boats don't get awesomer as they approach 30 (I am awesome, right? I thought so.).

Anyway.

We put a fair amount of money into the boat last fall in order to get it running in tip-top shape. This included, but was not limited to, having the carb rebuilt and replacing a motor seal that had been chewed through by a rodent. Fucking rodents.

It was running a bit better, but nothing significant. It was still hard to start. Once running, if I gave it too much gas, it would sputter and die, especially on take-off. This was particularly annoying when pulling a skier or wakeboarder, because the take-off speed was weak as fuck.

So I did was I do best. I read stuff on the internet. There were lots of suggestions, most of them stupid, but one stood out in my mind: older motors weren't designed to run on ethanol-blended oxygenated gasoline. The answer? Stop being such a cheap bastard at the pump. Shit, it's worth a try, right?

It cost me a whopping $3 extra to fill the tank with Premium 91-Octane gas. That, combined with a few minutes of playing around with the carb adjustments (and I do mean "playing around". I had no fucking clue what I was doing) has my boat running like brand spankin' new. w00t!

All this time the problem was the damn gas.

It turns out a boat is just like a woman. Feed her high-octane alcohol and she'll perform like a champ. That analogy comes courtesy of Franz, who's proving that people can continue to increase their awesomeness well into their 40's.

I think I'll start docking it at Lake Minnetonka. People will think I'm cool because my boat is retro. Don't argue with me. It'll work.