Texts From Last Night

I was recently turned on to TextsFromLastNight.com. It's quite amusing, so I thought I'd share a real-life text conversation (textversation?) I had last night with my cousin.

cousin: So i got good news and i got bad news today

me: OK.

cousin: I got laid the other night... Thats the good news

[Now, this particular cousin is not someone who has this experience often, so I can see why he was eager to share...I just would have preferred he share it sometime, I dunno...NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT?]

Anyway...

me: Congrats, I think.

cousin: Ya except... I dont remember shit i was to fuckin wasted my friend who walked in and said hand check and we didn't resond...Told me bout it after i told him i woke up smellin like sex and wondered why

me: What's the bad news?

cousin: I dont remember shit

me: Well that's a sticky wicket.

cousin: ya id do her sober so thats not the bad part...I just wish i remembered

cousin: Better news is im drunk and drinkin with her again

me: Yet you're still texting me?

I didn't receive any more texts after that, so he must have realized that his energy could have been better spent on better endeavors.

I have also received late-night texts from this individual explaining how difficult it is to climb down a ladder with clenched butt-cheeks. I have no idea...