Booze Haikus

These are a few of my favorite things.

Hendricks Gin

There's nothing better

The definition of smooth

Tonic has quinine

E&J Brandy VSOP

My father-in-law

Makes a mean-ass manahattan

But good with Coke, too

Bacardi Gold

It's Puerto Rican

So you know it'll be good

Just try it, asshole

Patron Silver

Words cannot desribe

The joy of margaritas

Made with da Patron.

Seagram's VO Whiskey

I first tried this drink

Playing cards in Seattle

I think I'm in love

Newcastle Brown Ale

I don't drink much beer

But I certainly would if

All tasted like this

Philips Blackberry Brandy

Got me arrested

Made me puke on the carpet

Not drinking again

Trader Vic's Spiced Rum

Surprisingly good

For knock-off Captian Morgan

Smooth and delicious

Blue Moon

Yes, the orange slice*

May be a bit fruity, but

I think it's super

Dos Equis Amber

You are Mexican

But I've never seen you in

Mexico. Ever.

*"Orange" is 2 syllables. I looked it up.