There's a kid on Max's baseball team named Diego. Every time he is up to bat, all the kids yell "Go Diego, go!" just like on the TV show. Being unable to restrain myself, I always yell "Vamos Diego, vamos", to the glares of other parents. Fuck them.
Speaking of which, I'm starting to figure out why parents get into fights at little league games. It's not because they get caught up in the competition, it's because other parents are so fucking annoying...it's all I can do not to freak on them.
So here's how it works: this is a league for 6-8 year-olds. These kids suck at baseball. Each team has a couple 8-year-old ringers, but other than that it's like a damn circus out there. I'd guess that about 90% of the kids hit the ball right back to the pitcher's mound. So, if a team wanted to be assholes, they could put their two ringers at pitcher and 1st base, then proceed to get 90% of the batters out. Little kid baseball teams wouldn't do that though, would they? You bet! The team we played against last night did just that, and all the while this fat bitch behind me kept saying, really loudly, "Oh my gracious, our team is just SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEIRS. It's almost embarrassing!". She said it no less that 15 times. "Oh, I'm so glad Matthew isn't on that team" (followed by a hearty guffaw and, I assume, an mental high-five).
I finally turned around and said, "Your team isn't any better, you just happen to keep your two best players in the key positions. Hey, isn't that your son out there in right field playing with blades of grass?" She took great offense to this, though all the other parents were nodding in approval. Ugh.
All the other teams we've played against rotate positions so all the kids get the different experiences. Fuck, they don't even keep score! Why screw over the other 10 kids on the team so the coach and parents can feel good about themselves and reinforce the skills of the 2 kids who already know how to play?
Isn't it supposed to be fun? How much fun is little Matthew having with those blades of grass? Not nearly as much fun as Fatty McTripleChin is having thinking that "her team" is superior. What the fuck is wrong with people?
5 comments:
Son, I'm very proud of you. I always stop when I'm on my little bicycle to watch this age group play ball. The attention span is so so small and they amuse themselves in the outfield with other things.
Ha! I love it!! Had my kid in the Edina hockey league for one season-and couldn't stand it! I'm sure I would've ended up in a fight bcuz I can't keep my mouth shut!!
You rock...I would be way too much of a chicken shit to say anything.
awesome.
from what little i remember from high school spanish -> I think it's va, deigo va.
It gets worse when the parents take their opinions out on the ump. I played ball for 13 years and umped for 4. About 10-11 years old when the kids start to get it the parents start to complain about the rules and then study the rule books to throw every thing they can at the umpires. You will be amazed at the passive aggressiveness of the moms and the threats of meeting in the parking lot from the boyfriends. It would be hilarious if it didn't happen every game. To this day I hate all star games and play off games. I remember not caring what the parents did while playing but as an ump I was wondering why they where allowed kids.
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