People with weak handshakes wierd me out big-time. It's like shaking a flaccid penis. Not that I would know.
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Almost everyone uses the word "literally" wrong.
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My towel smelled absolutely putrid this morning. I must have forgotten to hang it up yesterday.
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If Ross Perot were here right now, I'd punch him in the face. I've got my reasons.
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I got an e-mail from some guy named Craig, and he wants to relieve my blue balls.
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I've mentioned before that I think Ben Stiller is the greatest actor of our time. I stand by that statement.
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I'm sick of people describing themselves as "salty" when they're pissed off. That is one of the dumbest adjectives I've ever heard. Ever. "Why are you gettin' all salty?" Shut up, asshat.
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I'm probably the only person in the world who thinks of CSI:Miami as a comedy. I just can't get over how big of a blow-hard David Caruso is.
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According to my 5-year-old, I'm a really creepy driver.
5 comments:
Of all of the figures of the 20th Century one of the greatest has to be Robert Urich.
Why don't you email Craig and give him a weak handshake...maybe he won't want to help you then.
Do does your towel mean you now smell absolutely putrid?
Salty? Who says that? I haven't heard that one in a long time.
"Literally" is the adult version of "like". It becomes a habit.
I have a rep that shakes my hand very poorly. I called it a dead fish. But thanks to you everytime I shake his hand I will be thinking of his penis...just great.
Ben
I'm probably the only person in the world who thinks of CSI:Miami as a comedy. I just can't get over how big of a blow-hard David Caruso is.
Amen! I cannot stand "Horatio's" one-liners, always delivered in a mildly condescending tone (particularly to his colleague, "Alex"; ever notice that he speaks to her like she's a child?). He never makes eye contact until he is about to finish speaking (as though to imply a big ol' "so...there!"), then he locks eyes with them and...cut to commercial! He is the second-most annoying tv character of all time (the honor of most annoying goes to Lorelei Gilmore). I also don't buy the way he seems to attract young, attractive women the way a dog attracts fleas. Ugh.
Oh, and you will love this!
+1 on Ben Stiller!
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