Wednesday, January 13, 2010

OK, I Lied

I went tanning.

I received a referral from a highly reputable source that this place was teh awesum. While I feel that's an overstatement, it was, in my limited experience, the best tanning salon I've ever been to (out of 3).

After listening attentively while the girl behind the desk described the numerous overpriced options available to me, I chose two 1-week passes. Alright, ready to tan.

Nope.

I need eyewear. Like sunglasses? No. Like these:
It was also highly recommended that I use tanning lotion. "Otherwise the first 5 minutes you're in there doesn't do anything." Well, I of course am not one to waste valuable tanning time (especially considering what it costs), so I picked something that smelled manly. Hopefully that will help cover of the smell of burnt flesh that people keep telling me about.

Then she tells me I'm limited to 9 minutes to test my tolerance. Lady, if I want to scorch myself, I'll damn well scorch myself. Needless to say, I laid in that bed for 9 minutes. It was really hot until I figured out how to turn the fan on. Then it was kind of relaxing. Until I turned on the radio. It was country, and I couldn't figure out how to change it.

I'm not tan or burnt, nor do I smell like burnt flesh at the moment.

I'll keep y'all abreast of my bronzing status.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are soooo metro-M

PS watched the friends episode tonite where Ross gets spray tanned twice on one side...lol...made me think of you!

Ben said...

I want before and after pictures.

Anonymous said...

I was told by a pharmacist the whole pre-tan thing is a farce and doesn't really keep you from burning. But good luck with it.

Little D

Tenacious T said...

I was once told by a pharmacist that drinking water comes from the sky, not the ground. He ruined the credibility of all pharmacists with that statement.

Anonymous said...

I just thought I should give you a source rather then spout off, "Dude, tanning doesn't save you from sunburn". Not that my source means anything either because I'm not sure how he came to this conclusion.