Wednesday, January 13, 2010

TenT Goes Tanning. Shame Ensues.

I hate sunscreen. Hate it. This has led to many miserable days while on vacation in warm climates. Last year in Mexico I got so badly sunburned that I couldn't even put a shirt on the next day. I know, poor me.

Anyway, I'm going on vacation again soon and wanted to avoid burning. My coworkers convinced me that everyone goes tanning before they go on vacation. The idea being that if I get a decent base tan, I won't burn to quickly. The science seemed sound, I guess.

So I set off in search of a tanning place. I know they're called tanning salons, but that sounds a little fruity. Tanning place it is.

I was driving along and saw a sign for iBeach 24-hour tanning. It sounded promising. I pulled up in front of the building and shut off my car. Just then, a teenage boy wearing a name tag (who I presume was an employee) cracked open the door and hawked a loogie onto the sidewalk. It was gross. I started my car and left.

A few blocks later (fuckin' things are everywhere!) I found another tanning place called Caribbean Beach, which I thought sounded fancy. I parked my car and actually got out this time. When I got into the place, I was horrified. It smelled funny, like massage oil and shame, and there were teenage girls everywhere. They all appeared to be waiting. What? There's a wait to go tanning? I pulled my phone from my pocket, pretended I had just received an urgent call, and got my ass out of there. It was really a sad spectacle. A grown man fleeing a tanning salon place in fear. Shameful, I know.

I had to stop at a sporting goods store on my way home, just to cleanse my psyche.

When it comes to tanning, the cost is not worth the benefit.

1 comment:

buy hgh said...

Sun really damages our body. It irritates our skin and has that uncomfortable feeling or burning. I am not against with the sunless tanning methods. Maybe it is just not appropriate for you but others are fanatic of those sunless tanning--tanning bed, melanotan, tanning lotion, etc.