Vote For Me!

The finalists in the Photoshop contest can be found here. "Brokeback Rookie" must be victorious. Vote now!

FRANZ WINS COLDSPRINTS!

I don't have much time, but here's a quick run-down. I had a feeling Franz was going to win, given his PR of 244rpm's a couple days ago.

The bikes with toe straps took a bit of getting used to. My initial 20-second TT was crap, and seeded me 8th. Of course, prior to ever turning over the pedals, I broke the freakin' bike. No joke. Ya can't make shit like this up! I broke the bike.

Anyways...I followed that up with a couple Gin & Tonics, then realized that they made a horse-shit recovery drink, and switched to Beam & Cokes. Much better.

I won the first round against some guy whose name I don't remember. My technique was simple: hold a relatively hight speed and don't fade at the end. It worked perfectly.

Round 2: my technique immediately went to shit. I was holding steady at around 48mph, and the guy I was racing against was right around 49. I kept waiting for him to start slowing down, but he never did. I put in a big surge at the end, but ended up losing by .3 seconds.

Oh well, I was ready to start drinking again.

Franz barely squeaked out a win over the guy who beat me, due to some technical difficulty. I'm still not entirely sure what happened.

He went on to face Homme in the finals, who had been ripping up the rollers all night. Homme faded big-time at the end, and got beat by a no-endurance sprinter!

By the way, some chick still owes me a buck for taking off my sweet Speedfix jersey! I hope she gave it to the charity.

I don't hang out at bars much, now that I'm old and boring. Now I remember why: I went through $50 and I don't even have a hangover to show for it!

Overall, more than $450 was raised for charity, and I got to hang out with a bunch of bad-ass motha's that I usually only see during the race season. I'll be back next month, and I'm bringing my A game!

Kudos to SR and the crew for a well-run event. Everyone I talked to had a great time.

Tonight's the Night

Tonight is going to be awesome. Now only will I win the photoshop contest, but I'll also win the ColdSprints title. Actually, I may just get drunk and drop out halfway through. Time will tell...

Want vs. Need

During last night's trainer workout, I wanted to listen to some death metal, but I needed to listen to the Dolla Dolla Bill Y'all song. On repeat. The whole workout.

I feel like such a girl. A wicked-awesome girl, but a girl nonetheless.

I Wish I Knew How To Quit You

Brokeback Rookie.

Haste Makes Waste

In a hurry to get out of the office, were we?

"I will out of the office for Thanksgiving 12/27.

Thank You,
Peter [Last Name withheld to protect Bodacious P]"

Eventful

Holy crap I had a busy week off! I have a horrible perception of time, so these are not listed in chronological order.

• We bought 2 new(er) vehicles. They were despararately needed. More on that later.
• My Grandpa had a stroke and is in the hospital.
• Our babysitter had some personal issues and skipped town with no notice. Now we're scrambling to find someone to watch our kids over break.
• I rode my bike exactly 1 (one) time.
• I'm still nursing a lower-back tweak.
• The kids got more presents than they know what to do with.
• Despite all these presents, the kids still insist on having me entertain them.
• I'm on a mission to figure out how to elimate the hanger marks in the shoulders of my shirts.
• I am not refreshed and ready to go back to work. I am a lazy piece of shit, and I never want to work again.
• My nephew (who's 22) drank too many Vodka/Red Bulls and went insane one night. I got to babysit him.

Filling 'Er Up

We're slowly but surely acquiring enough furniture to fill our new house. I have a way pimp office.

What is this?

Click the picture to find out.

Biggest Christmas Present Ever

Thanks Grandpa, the kids love it!

My Sister Makes Awesome Holiday Cookies

Yes, it's exactly what it looks like.

PhotoShop Contest - Entry #2

Steppin' it up...

My Photoshop Contest Entry

Note SR's gayness, and Ezra's jazz hands. Classy!

Unlinked?

I have been un-linked from a local blog, presumably due to foul language. This would be OK with me if it weren't for the presense of other potty-mouthed bloggers on this individual's blogroll.

To correct this injustice, I've come up with a plan. I'm going to bombard this person's blog with comments - which will give me infinitely more exposure than a little link on the sidebar - until I am re-linked or given a satisfactory explanation for this slight.

The comments will be ever-so-pleasant in nature, but will likely net me at least 10 times the number of referrals from this site than a sidebar link.

You have until January 1st to respond accordingly, or the bombardment begins.

XOXO
Tenacious T

EDIT: This situation has been dissolved. It's a Christmas miracle. I love you all.

It's 106 miles to Chicago

We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

Hit it.

Another New Bike?

MN Cycling Blog Haikus

If I missed anyone, which I probably did, it's because I'm an asshole.

Skibby:
Used to be funny
Now angry and loving it
Bring the hate, prez

Doc:
Holy freakin' crap
I fell asleep while reading
About Rubik's cube

Rich:
I can never tell
What the fuck he talks about
But Lalla likes it

Smithers:
Despite politics
Still the top blog on most lists
Lots of cell phone pics

Frye:
Had a good start there
With the Coach Puffy topic
Needs to step it up

(dis)pencer:
Doesn't use shift key
Untitled series was good
Mocking my team, bad

Crosby:
Gives us a good glimpse
Of what racing's all about
And pissed off T-Town

CXSteven:
Yeah, I don't know you
But I gather you like cross
Frequent posts are good

Donimator:
He used to post more
And try to stir up drama
Now fixing a car

Gilby:
Phenomenal skill
At MS paint to tell tales
Unique perspective

Jeffro:
You are new here, dude.
So here's a tip for more hits
Make fun of people

Jimmer:
Although header says
Few opinions are given
Called out the cheaters

Ray:
Most consistent and
Entertaining MF'er
In the blogosphere

The Phoenix:
Blog has been reduce
To random mobile posting
And cutesy girl stuff

Sascha:
Dig the POV
Although tri's are for crazies
Only run when chased.

SuperRookie:
Defies description
Credit where credit is due:
Power Rankings rocked

T3:
Nascar for Dummies
Made me squirt soda out nose
And onto keyboard

Timmer:
Raced Against Cipo
Thinks I should be a cat 5
Sent me sweet saddle

Addicted

I love NyQuil (and it's cheap, generic counterparts).

Sometimes when I'm coming down with a cold, I can't help but be excited that I'll get to take NyQuil Naps. There's nothing better.

I should probably try to kick this shit by spring.

Spy Photos

The fastest bike in Minnesota.

In My Yard

Newest Recruit

World Sprint Champion...in 2025.

She'll have to grow into it.

Track Meeting

I was there. Next year is gonna rock.

Brian is never going to see boobs, despite our best efforts. It's going to be a long, sad journey through life.

Your Beer Is A Piece of Crap, And So Is Your Face

My co-workers clearly have no class. They don't understand that a Blue Moon with a wedge of orange in it is the pinnacle of chic. While they were drinking their domestic bock-wanna-be beers, I was experiencing awesomeness. The only think that could have made it more awesome is if I had a mohawk.

I suck at bowling, but I got to wear uncomfortable shoes and shame myself, so I had that goin' for me. A couple guys brought their own balls and shoes, and whooped up on the rest of us. What's worse...sucking at blowing, or having everyone know that you have your own shoes and ball?

Next year, maybe the t-shirts the company gives out as prizes should come in more than one size. Peter ain't no medium.

SHIT!

DGC is human, too.

I look at this picture at least once a day. It's what gets me through.

Cock! Balls!

K-Munny and I went skiing tonight. That's some Frisco shit if you ask me.


I like the idea of skiing way more than I like actually skiing.

2 Fillings, No Novocain

Yes, I am a huge bad-ass.

500th Post - Behind the Numbers

Have I really wasted that much time blogging? Damn...

• Most comments on a single post: 15
  
• Number of weeks since my blog was born: 67
  
• Number of times I quit blogging: 1
  
• Total hits: 18,126
  
• Most viewed post: Record-breaking team sprint ride
  
• Close second: Ted's bloody-ass face
  
• Number of blogs I subscribe to in Google Reader: 107
  
• Top Commenter: Franz
  
• Hours wasted utilized: Countless
  

Thanks to everyone out there who reads this.

Here's what you have to look forward to in the next 500 posts:

• More bitching about shit no one cares about
  
• A new level of transparency in my training methods
  
• "The Tenacious-T Travelling Fun Show", as I attempt to attend several sprint tournaments around the country
  
• Photos and stories about the two cutest kids in the world
  
• Pictures of me on the podium at Elite Nationals
  
• Tales of the shit I break
  
• And most of all...randomness
  

PSYCH!

Do you always believe everything you read? Dipshits.

I am what I am.

Food For Thought

An anonymous commenter had this to say:

"I think you should really watch your language and not swear. Remember you have sponsors of SpeedFix checking in on you along with parents and children following your track racing."

You make a valid point. I used to be able to say basically whatever I wanted, because no one used to read this blog except people who knew me. That's not the case anymore.

I generally don't mind offending people...I've been doing it all my life. However, I do want kids, especially those who are interested in cycling, to be able to come to this blog and hopefully be inspired (or at least entertained).

I won't censor my thoughts or feelings, but I will work on toning down the language. Deal?

Who says I can't take criticism?

FIRST!

I can't bring myself read comments on popular websites anymore, because every asshat and their mom thinks they have to post "FIRST", as if it's a great big fucking honor that they sit around waiting for a new post so they can leave the first comment.

Most of the time, as witnessed here, they don't even get the first spot, and look like a complete fucktard because they've actually left the 64th comment. Or 83rd. Seriously. Click the link...83rd.

It's like my grandpa always said, "Ya can't fix stupid."

The Dream Is Fading

I could die and rot in my office and no one would notice until January.

I'm so fucking bored.

Race Selection

I have issues with some of the races that are run on Thursday nights at the track. I've heard others complain about this as well. Since now is the time that next year's race schedule will be set up, I feel it's a good time to have this discussion.

The biggest thing the track needs to survive is public support. 60-lap scratch races are not fun to watch. Neither are 80-lap madisons (or 80-lap anything for that matter). They just aren't. The crowd doesn't get into it at all. We enjoy them because we are bike racers. Most of the people in the stands are not. Do a head count on the number of people in the stands at the beginning of the night, and do a re-count before the long races start. I bet 50% leave.

The fans generally don't understand the circus races, even with Bob spelling it out for them.

I understand the need for these races, but spice 'em up! Make them fun to watch! Throw in some cash primes, have sprints every 5 laps instead of every 10. I dunno.

What else is there? I want to be clear that I'm NOT saying we shouldn't run these races, but is there any way to make them more exciting?

Out at nationals, the only time the (small) crowd get even remotely excited was during the sprints and points races. The fact that only 30-40 people were there watching the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS is a huge indicator that maybe something needs to change.

We need spectators. They need incentive to come out and watch. What do we do?

Global Warming Redux

Are they going to make Al Gore give back his Nobel Prize when it turns out global warming is a bunch of hoo-ha?

I do think we need to change the way we live. Absolutely. We're ruining the environment, I will agree with that.

Are we causing global warming? Me thinks not. Scientists* are basing these claims on data from the last 20 years. That's like a microsecond in the life cycle of the earth. Alarmists are using these claims to try to enduce panic and action from the masses. Climatologists need us to believe global warming is real in order to keep getting funding for research. Global cooling and the threat of a new ice age was the all the rage in the '70s. Narcissism has led us to believe that we are the cause of and solution to all the world's problems.

We live in an ECOSYSTEM...variables will change, and the system will adapt.

I guess as long as you don't actually think about it, global warming makes perfect sense.

*I don't believe science can exist for it's own sake anymore. Everything is funded by big industry and government to give results that they want. Peer reviewed? Spare me.

'Livin' the Dream' Monday

Same shit, different shoes.

Now HERE'S a Great Idea...

I am often baffled by the actions of corporate America. For instance, my employer gives us a hugely generous allotment of time off each year, but we can't carry any over into 2008.

This has resulted in the vast majority of my co-workers being out of the office for the entire month of December, which has in turn resulted in a massive drop in productivity. I've heard it's like this every year. I'm working on a project where I'm dependent on others to get their work done so I can do my job. 8 out of 10 people that I depend on are gone until next year, and I'm sitting here writing fucking limericks about random shit I find around my house.

A+ work, corporate America. A+

Ode to My Stuff - Limericks

This is an ode to my favorite self-powered objects. They make life easier, and they make me happy. Limericks also make me happy. So does gin. And peanut butter cups. But I digress...

You help me blend my protein shake
Is there anything you cannot make?
You spin with high torque
So let's pop a cork
And toast to you with red wine and cake.

---

There's a shitty camera built in my phone
So I can take pics all alone
Your quality sucks
And that is the crux
But I still wish that you had a clone.

---

This is my Father's Day lamp
It'll kill me if I get it damp
It's unstable and falls
On my kids and the walls
But still it gets my approval stamp

---

It may not look quite so great
But this oven here has speed bake
I can make a pizza
In half the time! Neatza!
It's beauty is too much to take

---

This is my snowblower, Joe
He blows and he blows all my snow
Because shovels are stupid
And I'm thanking cupid
And hoping I don't lose a toe

---

This little Ninja's the shit
It's small, so I cannot fit
But my kids are so bitty
That they can whip shitties
And my shins, they always do hit

---

There once was a big old chest freezer
Whose capacity was a bit of a teaser
I bought an upright
Now I'm not uptight
I'm sitting here listening to Weezer

---

I got this contraptions for free
So I can make awesome coffee
I get out the cream
When it starts to steam
And know that the first cup's for me

---

This iPod station's way hot
It allows me to listen to Snot
My wife likes Norah Jones
But not when I'm home
Because I'd rather have a blood clot

---

I can clean carpet or floor
It'll run 50 minutes or more!
It sucks up dog hair
While my neighbors just stare
So I kick their asses out the door

---

This is my beautiful iBook
You can't touch, you can just look
Sometimes it shows porn
But don't get forlorn
It also taught me how to cook

---

These have a great capacity
And clean clothes with tenacity
They fit double loads
Of all of my clothes
Their windows do not have opacity

---

This here is my '83 Cycle
It used to belong to Michael
I'm lying, ho hum
I bought it from my mum
Of this moto I'm a disciple

---

The Exploder's been with me forever
I'll get rid of it, probably never
It's got lots of miles
But still plenty of style
When driving it I feel so clever

LSC Party

Last night was the Loon State party and awards ceremony.


But this is all I remember.

I didn't win any awards. Cuz, ya know, it's not like I made it to nationals or anything :-) In all seriousness, everyone who won the awards was more than deserving. Kudos, fellas.

Apparently, having an ironically-named blog does not garner any votes for "most tenacious".

Donimator compiled a video of the season, and every time I looked at the TV I saw this picture.

Hairless Rat

Isn't he cute? I wonder who buys these...

'Livin' the Dream' Friday

Dude, I'm With the Band

I used to be in a band called 'Maple Tree'. We were named after a gay, incestuous cat. The drummer's dad was a science teacher and named all of their many cats after trees. One day, Maple Tree mounted up on his brother, Sumac. We knew we had our band name.

The first gig we ever played was at the local high school. We tore that place up with covers of Green Day, Pantera, and Coal Chamber songs. Then a girl broke her arm in the mosh pit, and the school said we couldn't play there anymore.

When you're in a small farm town and you can't play at the school, your options are pretty limited. We tried to set up some outdoor shows, but the city noise ordinance wouldn't allow it. We played a couple graduation parties, and that was it.

---

Blog-land sucks. Come on...y'all have to have done SOMETHING in your life worth posting about.

The Final Touch

A short 49 days after moving into our house, our entry-way ("foyer" for you classy people) now has a light.

Google Services Haikus

Google is taking over the world. You know it, I know it, Bill Gates knows it. They've got some great products, but seem to have issues with quality control at times. Here's a rundown, in haiku form, of their services.

Search Engine:
The best search out there
Sometimes returns random shit
Rarely lets me down

Blogger:
Quirky as all hell
On-again, off-again blogs
Why can't you just work?

Google Reader:
On a web-based app
Keyboard shortcuts are stupid
Why must you confuse?

Google Images:
I type in my name
And see a karate kid
And ugly lawyer

Google Maps:
Why is the picture
Of my house so freakin' old?
Love the hybrid view

Google Toolbar:
Why do you exist?
All you do is replicate
IE7 search

Google Calendar:
You do me no good
Since you are only web-based
You'll never be used

Google Video:
Are you just YouTube?
You do list their videos
I don't understand

The Only X-Mas Song Worth Listening To

Hello, Beautiful