Friday, October 24, 2008

Things I Can't Do

Obviously there are lots of things in this world that I can't do, but there are also a lot of things that it seems like I would be good at, but I'm just not.

I cant:

  • Do A Flip. I get completely disoriented when I go upside-down, and I usually land on my head.
  • Dance. OK, maybe this one goes without saying.
  • Snowboard. I'm OK, but I can't cross into the 'good' realm, no matter what I try. I just can't do anything frontside.
  • Track Stand. I've tried and tried. And tried. And tried some more. I just can't do it. I have no balance.
  • Jog. My best mile ever is 5:41. I used to be skinny, so you'd think I could have done better at some point in my life.
  • Bike Maintenance. It's like I'm retarded.
  • Bench Press. I can squat a lot. I can deadlift a lot. I can't bench for shit. It's shameful. Shameful, I say!
  • Add The Bass Drum. I'm stuck on 'Easy' in Rock Band because I can't seem to add the bass drum and still hit all the other notes.
  • Touch My Toes. I am the most unflexible person ever.
  • Hit A Baseball. I can throw. I can catch. I can't hit.
  • Mountain Bike. I really do suck. I'm like suckajawea. I'm working on that, though, and actually getting better.

10 comments:

Meow said...

Gotta' admit, I'm kinda surprised about the track stand! Who'da thought?
As far as guitar playing skills, OMG, my 7 year old kicks my ass every time! But the GOOD thing is, he got to unlock 'Dream On' so I can play it 20 times and FAIL!

Ben said...

Hungover? I can't do that anymore!

Anonymous said...

I cant stop wackin off!

Russian Bear said...

How much do you Bench?

How much do you Squat?

How much do you Deadlift?

You say you cant Bench but give no frame of reference. How dare you declare you cannot Bench?

How much can Franz Bench, Squat and Deadlift?

Tenacious T said...

My best squat is 455x2, best deadlift is 445x2, best bench is 235x2.

Russian Bear said...

You wrote: My best squat is 455x2, best deadlift is 445x2, best bench is 235x2

Well, if all that is true, it is pretty amazing. You squat more than Chris Hoy and Bench less than Chris Ferris.

Amazing and bizarre.

Hard to believe you can pull that much weight off the floor. Ouch!

Tenacious T said...

See? Shameful!

Russian Bear said...

I would have to see it to believe it. A guy your size could press it up with Triceps alone.

We need FranzzzzzzZ to verify this.

Franz said...

Taylor does have a weak bench. 555x2 swatt with belt and wraps
365x10dead no wrap straps or belt
355 bench no shirt long time ago
54 consecutive pull ups

Russian Bear said...

Jebus that be heavy.

My best is 8 pull ups.

In a row, no rest